You can't buy a house in heaven.

It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town
This time I'm not leaving without you
You taste like whiskey when you kiss me awe
I'd give anything again to be your baby doll
This time I'm not leaving without you

He said, sit back down where you belong,
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we made love the first time
When you said to me, there

Something, something about this place
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah, something about baby, you and I

It's been two years since I let you go
I couldn't listen to a joke or rock 'n' roll
Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart
On my birthday, you sang me "Heart of Gold"
With a guitar humming and no clothes
This time I'm not leaving without you, ohh-ohh

Sit back down where you belong,
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we made love the first time
When you said to me, there

Something, something about this place
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah, something about baby, you and I

You and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You and I
You, you and I
Oh yeah, I'd rather die
Without you and I

Come on!
Put your drinks up!

We got a whole lotta money but we still pay rent
'Cause you can't buy a house in heaven
There's only three men that I'ma serve my whole life
It's my daddy and Nebraska and Jesus Crist, yeah

Something, something about the chase
Six whole years
I'm a New York woman, born to run you down
Still want my lipstick all over your face
Something, something about just knowing when it's right
So put your drinks up for Nebraska
For Nebraska, Nebraska, I love you

You and I
You, you and I
Baby, I'd rather die
Without you and I
You and I
You, you and I
Nebraska, I'd rather die
Without you and I

It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town
This time I'm not leaving without you

Like a skyscraper.

Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Spiritful me.

HI! It's been a looooooooooooong time since I blogged. How are ya doing? HAHAHAHA! Suddenly I feel so energetic and the mood to blog finally came! Happy? :P

Form 6 is FUN. With my super duper lame + funny + over-active classmates, especially May Ching and Elaine! HAHHAHA! Class without them will be so boring. I love you girls so much! XD! And also made a lot a lot of new friends here and I can tell they're all good friends! So glad and happy to know all of them!

But anyway, Form 6 sometimes can be stressful, especially when you're having Econs. Those who know how my Econs teacher is like, you know how is it. Hahahaha! But no doubt, she's a good teacher, a very responsible one indeed. Then the rest of the teachers also not bad la. Just that the PA teacher is not very welcomed by the students. But to me, I think she's quite okay la. At least she teaches, that's good enough. Anyway, it all depends on us whether we want to study or not, right? ;)

Then next, it will be my further-studying in America. This dream of mine has been kept inside of me for a certain time. I did not dare to tell anyone except some good friends of mine because I was afraid of purchasing that dream. But then, after listening to the experiences from the students in SUA (Soka University of America), suddenly I made up my mind. I WANT to go to SUA. For now, I don't really care much about financial problems or difficulties in socialising in a new country or whatsoever. I WANT to purchase my dream. Therefore, nothing can stop me. NOTHING. I will go for it, I will apply for scholarships and I will sit for SAT. Even though I shall fail, I will stand back up and continue trying harder and even harder in order to fulfill my dream. I will. I WILL! RAWRRR!!!

But of course, that does not mean I will stop trying hard to continue my Form 6. At the same time, I will do both. Both Form 6 and SAT. Form 6 is fun, as I said, but it can be busy too. Now I have to deal with the library (KETUA PSS! WAKAKAKA!) and deal with the Form 6 Society (PRESIDENT!! WAKAKAKA! But gonna resign soon. :P). So there are actually whole lots of stuff to do. And night time, have to go out for Gakkai meetings, almost every night. So the only time left for me to do my revision and homework is in the evening. I only have 4pm-6.30pm to finish up my school work. Sometimes I even ask myself, wow, how can I do so many stuff in a day? I feel like a Superman! Hahahaha! But of course, I enjoy doing all of them at the same time. :D And at night, I'll be exhausted and I'll surely sleep like a dead man. This is the moment where I cherish and appreciate the most! The time to recharge your battery and continue to fight for the next day!

So I guess that's my daily routine. SUA, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to come to you. But I will guarantee you that, I will DO MY BEST to come to you! Even if I were to fail, but at least I DID my BEST and I will have not a single regret. NOT AT ALL. :)

Please come to your senses.

Sometimes it's hard to deal with stuff. In fact, it's so hard, to the point that somehow it seems like it can never be solved. But does that mean it really can't? Really?

Seeing a young man like you breaking down because of whatever-it-is, you know how depressed am I? Hell no, not only me, but the people around you. Do you know how worried everyone is? Do you have any idea on how my parents were like when they heard you feeling like doing stuff which you shouldn't be doing? They were so disappointed. Even myself can tell that. So why can't you?

I don't expect much from you. All I wanted to do was just trying to make you understand and make you come to your senses. But I guess my expectation on you was way too high. Remember what you have told me? You said that you will change. But I am so sorry to say that, I see nothing from you. Aren't you ashamed of how empty your life is? Because of that particular thing, now you're living an unusual and meaningless life. Is it really worth it? Really? Don't you want to make a change?

Life isn't about one particular thing or a person. Life itself is beautiful. That one particular thing might blindfold you from seeing the beautiful ones around you. But sometimes you just have to open your eyes and start noticing that life isn't supposed to be lived like how you are living it now. It's just too wasted.

My friends did tell me not to care about you. Instead, I should just let you suffer alone and make you learn from it. But I can't, because I already acknowledged you as a part of my family. When a family member of yours is having a hard time, will you let him/her be the way they are? I guess you won't, right? Same goes to me. It's time to wake up now. You have been sleeping for days and you can't afford to stay asleep any longer. You have just wasted too much time. Time is precious. Once you realise it, it's no longer how it used to be when you were younger. This is life. Appreciate every little bit of the things around you and I'm sure that you will have no regrets when your days are numbered.

Lamest post ever.

I feel that recently I've been lacking of updates! I know there are people out there, wanting to read my posts every single day so badly. Therefore, don't worry. I'm here for you. LOL!

OK, I've been leaving this page on for almost an hour and I'm so lazy to update now. I guess that's all from me for today. LOL! Bye. :)

Run right to the edge with you.

There ain't no reason you and me should be alone
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
But I got a reason that you-hoo should take me home tonight
I need a man that thinks it right when it's so wrong
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
Right on the limit's where we know we both belong tonight

It's hot to feel the rush
To brush the dangerous
I'm gonna run right to
To the edge with you
Where we can both fall far in love

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you

Another shot before we kiss the other side
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
I'm on the edge of something final we call life tonight
Alright! Alright!
Put on your shades 'cause I'll be dancing in the flames
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
It isn't hell if everybody knows my name tonight
Alright! Alright!

It's hot to feel the rush
To brush the dangerous
I'm gonna run right to
To the edge with you
Where we can both fall far in love

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you

I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you

Things are gonna get better.

Is it true that you only come to your realisation when something terrible happens? I've been living for 18 years. And this realisation finally came to me, when I nearly died. Physically died, I mean.

I have encountered a car accident this evening, at KL. I wanted to make a U-turn because I was heading the wrong direction. Whenever I head to the wrong directions, I won't be able to help myself but feeling panicked. And at that very moment, I thought the emergency lane was a U-turn. So, I brake my car. But, I could feel that my car didn't slow down because of the heavy rain. In fact, I couldn't make it on time to make my U-turn and I just turned the steering wheel. Then out of a sudden, I felt that my car was moving forward, even after I have fully stopped it. Then I realised, my car was banged.

At that very moment, I panicked like, like I've never felt before. A lot of stuff suddenly ran through my mind. I was like, did I kill anyone? Did I spoil my car? Did I this, did I that? I was worried like hell that I thought that I might have injured or killed people. But luckily and fortunately, no one got hurt. In fact, not even a scratch. Then the next thing was, the victim got out of his car and scolded. I was too worried and too afraid to even apologise. My mind was blank. Totally empty. When I came to my senses, I realised my mom had been apologising non-stop while I sat there doing nothing but chicken out. Then, my mom called my dad and that victim, Mohan, finally calmed down and we were all waiting for my dad to come.

After a while, two officers suddenly came by and asked me to take out my license and I/C. I was panicked like shit because my mom told me not to give my license to anyone because if I gave them, my license will be gantung-ed and that's it. I don't need to drive anymore. But then luckily, they didn't do anything and just returned them to me after checking. And then they asked me to drive to the nearest police station because they said that we were blocking the traffic, which was incorrect. We didn't block the traffic, it was because of all the busy-body ones kept on staring at us. Alright, after reaching the police station, my dad finally arrived and my parents told me not to say a word about the accident. In fact, they even asked me to say that it was my dad who drove the car, not me, so that my license won't be gantung-ed whereas my dad's license won't be affected because he's not having a P license. Even though my dad was doing this willingly, but deep in my heart, I wanted to make it up to him by telling the officer the truth, but I didn't have the guts. I was afraid of my license will be gone. In the end, I willingly let my father make the report by himself, like a coward.

After that, my mood started to stabilise. Waited for my dad to come out and we went back home after fetching my friends back to their home. While I was having dinner with my family, my dad told me this, "Don't be sad, Jason. No one is going to scold you. We all learn from our mistakes and you should be thankful because the officers told me that the place where your accident took place is actually the place where most people died when they encountered an accident. Don't feel sorry to anyone. Alright?" At that moment, I had a strong urge to cry but I eventually swallowed back my tears. I left my father went to the police's room all alone and still, he didn't blame me, but consoled me to not to worry. I felt so useless. I felt like a coward, out of a sudden.

I know I couldn't make it up to him, after all the humiliation from the officers and the victim. Therefore, the only thing I could possibly do to him is by chanting for me to have more wisdom for his sake. This is the least I can do to make it up to him. I am sorry, Dad. I was panicked when I went to the wrong direction because I wanted to show you that I also have a good sense of direction, like my brother. But I guess I screwed up in the end. I am sorry and I swear it won't happen next time. If it happens again, just let them take my license. I can't bear to see you being humiliated anymore. It just hurts too much.

In this california king bed.

I guess there were too much of Gaga in my previous posts. Therefore, this time I'll update something which has nothing to do with her. Hopefully I can la. =P

Guess what time is it now? Yes, it's a freaking 5.30 in the MORNING now. I stayed up the whole night because of those effing annoying cats. Seriously, they annoyed me not just only once, but COUNTLESS times. I really don't know how am I supposed to deal with this when I really really NEED a goodnight sleep. It's been happening so frequently and something must be DONE to stop this.

So, does anyone have any recommendation on how to GET RID of these annoying small little creatures? Seriously, I NEED your suggestion to stop this tragedy of mine. Please and thank you.

Sexiness.

I got bored of my previous desktop wallpaper and it turned out to be this!

Don't you just agree that she looks EXTREMELY pretty here? The makeup, the eyes, the mouth, the nose, the palm, the fingernails. I think this is how I define 'perfect'. =P

Betrayal.

Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, GAGA !

This song is addictive. Don't ya agree?

Glory that I bare.

Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ohh

Oooh-ooh-ooh-ohh, whoa

Whenever I'm dressed cool
My parents put up a fight
(Uh huh, uh huh)
And if I'm hot shot
Mum will cut my hair at night
(Uh huh, uh huh)
And in the morning
I'm short of my identity
(Uh huh, Uh huh)
I scream, "Mom and Dad"
"Why can't I be who I wanna be?"
(Uh huh, uh huh)
To be

I just wanna be myself
And I want you to love me for who I am
I just wanna be myself
And I want you to know, I am my hair

I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
I'm not a freak
I must keep fighting to stay cool on the streets
I've had enough, enough, enough
And this is my prayer, I swear
I'm as free as my hair
I'm as free as my hair
I am my hair
I am my hair

As free as my hair-air-air-air-air-air
Hair-air-air-air-air-air-air-air
As free as my hair-air-air-air-air-air
Hair-air-air-air-air-air-air-air

Sometimes I want some raccoon or red highlights
(Uh huh, uh huh)
Just because I want my friends to think I'm dynamite
(Uh huh, uh huh)
And on Friday, roxy high school dance
(Uh huh, uh huh)
I've got my bangs to hide that I don't stand a chance
(Uh huh, uh huh)
A chance

I just wanna be myself
And I want you to love me for who I am
I just wanna be myself
And I want you to know, I am my hair

I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
I'm not a freak
I must keep fighting to stay cool on the streets
I've had enough, enough, enough
And this is my prayer, I swear
I'm as free as my hair
I'm as free as my hair
I am my hair
I am my hair

As free as my hair-air-air-air-air-air
Hair-air-air-air-air-air-air-air
As free as my hair-air-air-air-air-air
Hair-air-air-air-air-air-air-air

I just wanna be free
I just wanna be me
And I want lots of friends that invite me to their parties
I don't wanna change
And I don't wanna be ashamed
I'm the spirit of my hair
It's all the glory that I bare

I'm my hair, my hair
I'm my hair, my hair
I'm my hair, my hair
And all the glory that I bare
I'm my hair, my hair
It's all the glory that I bare
I'm my hair, my hair
I'm my hair, yea yea
(Glory that I bare)
I'm my hair, yea yea
(Glory that I bare)
I'm my hair, yea yea
(Glory that I bare)
My hair, yea yea

I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
I'm not a freak
I must keep fighting to stay cool on the streets
I've had enough, enough, enough
And this is my prayer (This is my prayer)
I swear (Yeah)
I'm as free as my hair
I'm as free as my hair (This is my prayer)
I am my hair (Yeah)
I am my hair
I'm my hair, my hair

Judas's lover.

This is my new desktop wallpaper.


My mom saw this and she was like, "Is this Lady Gaga? Why does she look so scary?". And I was like, "...........". But true also la. She looks kinda scary here. But, who cares? =P

He ain't heavy, he's my bro.

GOSH! I am FINALLY able to sign in to my Blogger! Last few days been trying so hard to sign in but it said my account was not verified. =.= Blah, who cares. As long as I can sign in NOW. Hahahahaha!

For your information, I am supposed to study now because I've made a promise to myself that I will start studying today. But today, unfortunately, I was trying to sign in to my Blogger and I THOUGHT that I wouldn't be able to sign in as well. But it ended up... you know. LOL. That's why I'm here! And I can tell that this is going to be a long one. =P

Form 6 has been a blessing. I found out that I've been using the same sentence for 3 times for my blog. LOL. But anyway, yea. Who the hell told me that Form 6 is suffering?! Lol. Maybe it's because it has just started and I'm still in holiday mood. WHAT? Can't really blame me la. It's holiday what. It's a damn freaking 2-week holiday ya know? RELAX~~ No need to study first. Relax for the first week and start working your ass off on the second week. HAHAHAH! I know that I'm a procrastinator. Can't help it. =P

Then, the subjects that I'm taking are Ekonomi, Sejarah, Bahasa Malaysia, MUET and Pengajian Am. At first when I heard that this school only offers Ekonomi, Sejarah and Bahasa Malaysia for arts class, I was thinking of transferring or having tuition outside, because I seriously CAN'T take Sejarah. Furthermore, the teachers here said that Sejarah is COMPULSORY for this school. So, I evetually thought of leaving this school. But then, fate has brought me here. LOL. Ahh, Imma cut the crap. Lol. I attended Sejarah classes, just for trial and I found out that, EH! SEJARAH IS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD WEI! *For now la.* LOL! I hope Cikgu Ng won't scold me for that. xD Then, I think that I'm slowly in love with Sejarah. Crazy, ain't it? LOL.

Okla, that's for the subjects. Next, will be my super duper lame + perasan + hamsap bro. Hahahaha! Don't scold me for that. LOL. What can I say about him? He's big sized. He has wide forehead. He has super short spiky hair. And... he's lame. LOL. Bro, don't take this as an insult cause I do like lamers. LOL! In fact, he's the one who asked me to write something about him on my blog. LOL! So I'm here, talking about you. Hahaha. I think I'll just cut the crap for now.

You know what? I never thought that we could get along this well, you know? At first, I couldn't really open myself to you. But as time goes by, I found out that you are the one that I can trust and the one that I can run to when I have problems. It's not that I don't have anyone to run to. It's just that, everything just happened way too perfectly and at the same time, way too fast. You'll be transferring school soon. After knowing you for less than a month, I honestly don't really want you to transfer, deep inside of me. Even though I told you that we'll still get to talk to each other, just that it will not be that often, but still, it's hard to let go. I don't know why am I saying this out of a sudden. Maybe it's because we have a lot in common and I want you to know about this. Or maybe it's because I have already acknowledged you as my brother, a brother who shares the same blood. After all this while, I just wanted you to know that no matter where you go, you can still run to me when you have problems, just like before. You told me a lot about your stuff, which I never expected from you because how long have you known me? 10 years? 5 years? Not even a month you've known me but still, you trusted me like you've known me for more than 10 years. Thanks for telling me what you have told me in this past 3 weeks. I appreciate them a lot. Like real a lot. Remember, when you're in a different school, must work hard and study hard for your future. Your mom needs you. Your family needs you. Therefore, you can't tumble down. Must be strong! So that your mom can rely on you, alright? And I'm so looking forward to this Thursday's outing! It feels like it's been ages since I last watched movie. In fact, it's been like what? 4 months? 5 months? And I'm dying to watch movie! ARGHH!

Damn. It's already 9.45pm. What has happened to the-lately-me who was filled with so much passion and determination in studying?! Look at the pathetic me. I'm officially SLACKING, right here, right NOW! ARGH!! I guess I'll just start working my ass off tomorrow morning! I swear! NO MORE PROCRASTINATION! IF YOU EVER SEE ME ONLINE-ING OR WATCHING NARUTO, JUST SLAP/WHACK/PUNCH/PINCH/BITE/SQUEEZE/HIT ME. I am giving you this golden opportunity to do this. *If you ever find me slacking la.* =P Okla, I need to go downstairs already. Must observe what my sister is doing now. If she's watching TV, ngek ngek, she'll get it from me. Oh wait. I'm slacking as well. So I cannot scold her. Like what the Malay says, seperti ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan, something like that. LOL! Okla okla. I must go already. See ya when I have the mood to blog again. And so sorry for the super duper long post. =P BYE!

The glory that I bare.

Hello peeps. Miss me? I'm sure you do as I've been M.I.A-ing for don't know how many days. Hahahaha. But anyway, I'm here just for a short update for those people out there who want me to blog soooooooo badly. =P

Alright. Form 6 is tough. But it's worth my time and I'm very sure of that. People do tell me lots of stuff like Form 6 is a waste of time and it's very hard or stuff like that. To me, it depends on individual, whether you label it as 'hard', 'waste of time' or 'easy', 'worth my time'. That's all I can say. I'm happy to be in Form 6.

Ohya, before I forget. Just wanted to wish my new friend, whom I called him as 'Bro', Happy Birthday. You are a great friend and a great child to your parents. Thanks for telling so much stuff about you and I appreciate them a lot. And the common things between us, are just way too much and they somehow creep me. But never mind that, as we said, we are already used to it. Hahahahaha. Alright. Even though you'll be transferring, but bros will always remain as bros. Nothing changes, alright? Don't be so sad and emo. Cheer up! =D

That's all for today and needless to say, I'm exhausted and I need some sleep now. Goodnight, peeps! =D

GagaVille.

GagaVille has ARRIVED! It has some Gaga-looking sheeps and unicorn in that ville. Hahahahha. And I got to listen to Gaga's unreleased song, MARRY THE NIGHT! Sounded so so only. Not as good as Judas. =P

So lazy to update now. Hai gam sin. Bye~

Failure.

While looking at my sister sleeping, I suddenly felt so bad. Random. LOL. She's just too tired. Not just physically, but also mentally.

Everyday I've been forcing her to do this and that, not allowing her to do this and that, giving her pressure. All I wanted to see was just seeing her growing up to become a better person. I guess this is what a brother always wants their little siblings to become. But I guess I was wrong. The method I used was just too harsh for a little kid like her.

I always ask her to shower right after she comes back from school, never considering whether she's sleeping on the sofa due to the whole day of schooling or not. I always ask her to finish her homework before the night comes, never considering whether she knows how to do or not. I always scold her for not paying attention to me while I was teaching, never considering that she's so tired from waking up 6 in the morning and stayed awake till the rest of the day. I always blame her for not respecting my parents, never considering myself behave like her. I always expect a lot of things out of her, never considering my expectations were too high for a 10 year old kid. I never even consider whether was I doing the right thing or not, because I always thought that I was right.

But just now, seeing her snoring in the room, I had an urge to cry. Sorry for being so emotional out of a sudden, but I just can't help feeling that I failed to become a good brother, a good elder brother who leads his little sibling to the right way. My parents always told me that, "Don't be so harsh on your little sister la, she's so young. When you were young, you were even worse!" and I surely would fight back with words like, "This is the reason why she disrespects you people except me!". But I guess I was wrong. My sister did not respect me, she FEARED me. She's afraid of being scolded, scared of being pressured by me. That is the reason why she did everything just to obey me. I felt that myself is so bossy.

All I wanted to see was just she, being able to grow up to be a good girl. But as I said, my methods were way out of the line. I shouldn't be so harsh on her. I guess.

Hanging on a moment of truth.

Wanted to blog yesterday but blogger had some problems and I wasn't able to sign in. But never mind that.

As I mentioned in the previous post, Form 6 has been a blessing. I eventually love the school, the classmates, even though I'm not that familiar with them YET, I have a feeling that they'll be a bunch of cool friends. =D. Then next thing about Ken Chia. Don't know whether it's the correct spelling or not. But once again, never mind that. LOL. I was surprised that he told us about his ambition and why did he choose to become what he wants to be in his future. I was very impressed by him, by his words, by his thoughts and his heart. Like what Thomas said, he has a heart of contributing to the society and I was really overwhelmed by that. He is one of the reasons why I join PSS cause he is the Head Prefect of PSS. A person I would look up to, a person I would be proud of, that is the thing I've longed to look for and I think I've finally found the right person. But of course, other reason why joining PSS is also because of the 10% co-curriculum marks. xD

And now, life will be very busy. Schooling and Gakkai. I was very depressed and sad when I heard people saying that they're tired and therefore they skip Gakkai activities. I know it's okay to take a break. But we must know why we want to take a break. Is it for the sake of tiredness? Or is it for the sake of laziness? Or perhaps for the sake of tiredness of tired? After I shifted house and started to have my Gakkai activities here, I realised that I was really shallow, in terms of faith. I need to be strong here. I need to be tough here. The youths here are all lacking of passion and faith and it's very saddening. Therefore, I've learned that I, myself must be the one who motivates them, who takes the lead, who influences others so that the future leaders will be cultivated with compassion. And in order to achieve that, I must be strong in faith by not absenting on any Gakkai activities, as few as possible.

I've learned so much here and I need the people around me to realise this, too. Gakkai isn't about ourselves. It's about the whole organization and it's not easy to keep this organization on the right track. Therefore, we must be bold enough to achieve that. Be true to yourself, don't attend any meetings because you're asked to do so because in the end, you won't be getting any benefit cause you're being forced to. Attend meetings happily and willingly. That is the seed of spirit and it will eventually grow into trees.

I'm on the edge of glory.

Form 6 has been a bless! I love my new school, my new seniors and the environment. Seriously, I'm sure this is the kind of school that I want and I'm so glad I finally found it! =D

Anyway, just a short update as I better get to my bed ASAP cause I have to wake up at 5.30a.m every single morning. =(. But worth it la. =)

Ohya, one more thing, GAGAVILLE IS COMING SOON! HERE IT IS:

HAHAHA. I seriously don't know how it's going to be like. I wonder do they have Gaga-costumes for my farmer. Or maybe we'll get to adopt little monsters and feed them with milk and grow into adult monsters. LOL!

Alright, that's all. Bye!

To Mum, With Love.

A betrayal of a prophecy.

I don't quite get the concept behind the video.

What do you say?

You, inescapable.

Hello peeps! So long never blog already. Hahahaha. Guess this will be just a short update.

I am so so so happy and glad now! Because I finally see someone in my Phoenix chants! Not that they all don't chant, but this is just the exception one cause I never thought he would actually be the one. I am just so so happy to see this! Lim Yoong Hui! BRAVO! And he told me he started to chant since last month and he was unsatisfied with it cause he only started to chant 2 years after he became a member. When I heard he saying this, I was so so so so HAPPY AND OVERWHELMED! A heart that pursues a higher and deeper desire, this is the spirit! And I am just so surprised that he is the one!

Lim Yoong Hui, now you're in the palm of our hands now! Ngek ngek ngek.. I will tell this to Wee Leng and you surely won't be able to escape from joining this year's GFG Camp cause Wee Leng is a persistent fella! *Don't kill me if you see this, Wee Leng* xD! Hahahaha. Alright, I am so happy now and I hope I'll be able to get some sleep tonight.

Goodnight, PEEPS! =D

Goodbye, my friend.

I actually wanted to post this in Chinese. But when I thought of typing the words one by one, I suddenly felt so discouraged. LOL. But anyway, this is for my dearest friend, Ms Pang Kai Ting.

Remember the first time when we actually talked? I think it was during Sports Day and I talked to your sister and you eventually came and talked to me. But I was very shy that time, so I kinda ignored you. Hahahaha. Hope you didn't mind that. Then slowly, saw you in scouts and I still remember we used to joke about your 'principal spec' cause you were playing a role as a principal during Malam Kebudayaan (MK). Hahahahah. Then a lot had happened in between us and we somehow formed our 'Cool Gang'. Then I still remember there was this one time you asked me whether you can be a part of our 'family' or not cause that time I was Baba then Yen Nee was Mama and Li Kuan was Lui Lui then Zo Ee was Kan Fu. Hhahahaha! Everything seemed so nostalgic and pure and wonderful and these are the things that always put a smile on my face whenever I come to think of it.

Just now when I was driving back home, while looking at the drizzle, I suddenly felt that there were so much that have just slip by without us noticing. Remember the time when we were still Form 1 kids? Everything just seemed so pure and natural. But now, we are just so grown up. Time is really a strange thing, isn't it? When the clock ticks, we won't even know how much time that has just gone by. By the time we realise it, we are already grown up. 5 years have passed, eh? In this 5 years, when I asked myself what I've done to you. I suddenly felt so scared and insecure. I actually didn't do much to you.

Humans are always like this. We will never appreciate things, or even a person until that particular person is gone. THEN, we'll only start to realise that it's too late to do so. To me, I think I've been that kind of person to you. I didn't appreciate you when you were here and now that I'm feeling so guilty and awful that I didn't play a good part as a friend in your life. Therefore, I now apologise for being such an awful friend to you. I know it's really awkward that I'm telling you this kind of thing out of a sudden. But I just can't help myself but keep on thinking that, I failed you as a friend. And by the time when you are leaving us, I only realised this and it's just too late when the realisation came. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for not appreciating you and what you have done to me in the past few years and therefore, I hope it's not too late to tell you that, "I am sorry, Kai Ting."

Gosh, I promised myself that I will not cry anymore but the tears just won't stop falling from my eyes. I don't know why I could actually burst into tears in this kind of stuff but.. I guess I just can't help myself but feeling sorry to you. I don't hope for a forgiveness from you but I hope that you can still be friend with me and forget the things that I've done to you that might have hurt you unintentionally. Alright, tears won't stop falling and I think I need some time to calm myself down.

................................

Alright, sorry for being so emotional. Hahahha. Well, to me, you are the kind of person who can actually take responsibility in doing anything but you lack of self-confidence. You are a strong person, Kai Ting. Don't be too scared of taking chances and do not ever ever look down on yourself, cause everyone is special in their own way. And one thing I'm really really worried about you is that, when you start to live in Penang, you'll not know how to get socialised and people will take advantage on you for that. You are always the innocent one when it comes to this. So please, take really really good care of yourself, k? Find your new friends there. Live happily in a brand new environment and be cautious in everything you do, alright? Call me if anything goes wrong or anything that you want to tell me personally. I swear I'll be there for you, no matter what happens. And I'm so sorry that I can't make it tomorrow for the breakfast session and going 1U for you. There are things that I have to do tomorrow and I just can't find the time to meet you up.

Okla, it's getting late now and I'm getting sleepy slowly. Lastly, take good care of yourself and do your best in everything! I'm sure someday we will be able to meet up, along with our good friends, Thomas, Zo Ee, Yen Nee, Li Kuan, Ah Ye and myself. Let's work hard together for our own future! =)

This is a special song that I would like to dedicate to you. There are just so many things that I want to tell you but I just can't find the words. Perhaps this song will sing the words out.

A gift of a friend. You gave me your ears when I needed a listener. You gave me your shoulder when I needed someone. You gave me your time and love when I needed a FRIEND. Thanks for all these gifts. Take good care of yourself. We all will miss you.

Karma, eh?

I swear I ain't complaining. But something must be DONE to STOP this thing which has made me feel so sick and TIRED!

Just now heard you complaining about how rebellious and naughty your daughter is and you know what? First thing came to my mind was, you asked for it. Do you know the reason why she is NOT afraid of you, but ME? Because I HAVE MY STANDARDS. I have taught her how to become a good child and there you are, spoiling her OVER AND OVER AGAIN by doing what SHE WANTS YOU TO DO. And when I tell you this, you will say things like, "Haiya, just do only la, very easy only mah" ORR "Aiyo, when you were young, you were also like this la, nevermind la". What can I say? SPEECHLESS

Everytime when I tell her she shouldn't do this and that. YOU GUYS WILL JUST PAMPER HER BY TELLING ME NOT TO BE SO HARSH ON HER. What now? I'm being harsh? Did I ask her to RUN 10 LAPS around the house? Did I ask her to clean the house every single minute? Did I EVER ask her to be RUDE TO YOU GUYS? ALL I DID WAS JUST TELLING HER HOW TO BE NICE TO YOU GUYS AND WHAT A CHILD SHOULD DO. And you know what? I am just so tired of teaching her the right things while you spoil her after then. I AM SICK OF IT.

Now you complain. What can I say or do? I am CLUELESS.

Gah.

You will never change, will you? It's always been like that, ALWAYS.

Get pump-y!

Alright. Just finished reading half of the NHR and this is the first ever time I have felt so much about my mentor. I used to read this book because I was asked to. But this time, even though I was asked to, again, LOL, but I really really put my heart into reading it. I even read the same line for a few times just to feel it and I eventually felt SOME of it. Really am struggling to understand Sensei's heart and thoughts through this book and it is never easy to do so. I kept on telling myself that I must have the same level as his so that I'll be able to understand him even better. But like I said, it's not easy. But it's not hard, though. I'll just need to read a few more times to feel an even greater feeling towards my mentor! I am such an optimistic person. xD

Then later at night, home v (Part II) is finally beginning! Got Part II somemore. LOL! This is the second time I home v in my Phoenix, so it should be called as Part II. xD! Going to home v the Junior PTCs and some M.I.A Senior PTCs to have a heart-to-heart dialogue session. Cause recently, we are just so dead and I can't afford to see this situation goes on! Wee Leng is going to SUA in August. I gave my words to her that I will do my best in supporting everyone and I can't afford to disappoint everyone, especially her! And luckily and fortunately, I've found myself a few talented future leaders in HSD and I am going to foster them so that when I leave/quit/die in HSD (CHOI! LOL!), I will have someone to inherit the Will of Fire. And this "Will of Fire" actually came from the anime Naruto. LOL! Okay, gotta get myself prepared for tonight's activity! To whoever is reading this, do well in your life and put 200% effort in doing everything! Because if you do so, you will have no regrets in your future. GA YAO! =D

Messing with me is never a good idea.

Gosh. There are so many things that I MUST do. First of all, a DAILY TIMETABLE is needed! I need to jot down every single thing that should be done in that particular period. Now, I just need to focus on GAKKAI before Form 6 starts! Home v home v and home v! Then need to find my members for Sunrise Group! Then JD got family day! HSD got TONS OF STUFF to do! Then I must get myself into SD as well cause my Honbu's YWDs and YMDs are not really committed into SD. So I MUST influence them by start anticipating in SD! Then need to attend 4D Meet! ARGHH!!!

Sometimes I just wish I was Superman. But I shall tell myself that, NEVERMIND! The more I am committed into Gakkai, the MORE FORTUNE I will get! So, gambarutte yo! I shall be like Naruto, who never EVER give up! OK, Imma stop blogging now and START reading my NHR, 师恩 (Mentor)!

P/S: Gosh, I'm so pumped up now! I hope I can get some sleep tonight. =(

I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as.

I just started a dialogue with a stranger from Thai! LOL! He added me on Facebook and he came from the same hometown as mine! Betong! Then he told me that he is now very stressed about his studies and I eventually gave him some encouragement. But I guess he didn't really understand cause his english is not that good.

But anyway, just very happy because I finally get to dialogue with someone who's oversea. Well, if I can speak Thai, it would have been better. But it was good enough la I guess? Just hope that he understood what I was trying to say and hope that he can overcome his problems in no time! =D

Want it bad, a LoveGame.

Tonight I'm not taking no calls cause I'll be dancing! This song surely will be the best song to dance with. Opps, I mean club with. Though I haven't tried. xD

And 2nd May my buddies will come to my house to have a BBQ session! Can't wait for that day! But first of all, I need to find the 'oven' and the 'forks'. Who has them? Cause I really don't want to spend my money buying them. @@

Untitled.

I'm sorry, but I keep feeling that I'm being used.
And that feeling hurts a lot.

A demon she clings to.

Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas

Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Gaga
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Gaga

When he comes to me, I am ready
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain
Even after three times, he betrays me

Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah
A king with no crown, king with no crown

I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas

Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Gaga

I couldn't love a man so purely
Even darkness forgave his crooked way
I've learned love is like a brick, you can
Build a house or sink a dead body

Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah
A king with no crown, king with no crown

I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas

Ew

In the most Biblical sense
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench
Vomits her mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas kiss me if offensed
Or wear ear condom next time

I wanna love you
But something's pulling me away from you
Jesus is my virtue
And Judas is the demon I cling to
I cling to

Just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas

Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Gaga

My promise to my Mentor.

Today was a fairytale. I had the time of my life with all of my Future Leaders. They had been so sporting and active and every move they made just put a smile on my face. Especially my baby, Tan Lloyd. He is so effing cute! And he played my phone until the battery ran out. =.= But thanks to that, he actually didn't feel shy about talking to me, unlike when I first met him in the morning.

Mentor & Disciple Hall. I've been there twice. The first time I went there didn't really feel a thing. Maybe due to the long/wrong journey to there and the heavy rain when I was on my way back home. But today, I told myself the night before that I must feel something today. Feel the atmosphere, feel the bond between my mentor and I, feel the activeness and the innocence of kids. And I eventually felt something. I felt so touched when the narrator told us about Ikeda Sensei's background. He did so many things for us and yet we still don't know how to appreciate all of them. And that really made me thought that we are all so pathetic.

The SGI organization isn't just about going meetings and knowing Nichiren Daishonin's life philosophy. We need to UNDERSTAND and PRACTICE it in our daily lives as well! Peace, culture and education. These 3 are the things that we must know how to cultivate. Sensei has done ENOUGH for all of us. It is the time that we as youths must STAND UP for ourselves and FIGHT side by side with our mentor! Wake up, youth! Sensei has high expectations on us and we must not disappoint him. We MUST do whatever it takes to meet his expectations! This is YOUTH.

The third time I'll be going to Mentor and Disciple Hall again will be on 7th of May with Mable to survey what we can do there for our high school members. This time, I must feel even more of this feeling as high school members are a step higher. They are not as naive as Junior Division. Therefore, I MUST do my best in order to influence not just high school members or Junior Division members, but the people around me! Ga yao, me!

I'm just a holy fool.

Judas kicks Little Monsters' asses! <3

Urggghh..?

I'm tired/exhausted/whateverwordsyouhavetodescribeaboutabodyrunningoutofenergy. Can read that? xD

Today went to Mentor & Disciple Hall with my sister and her fellow comrades in Malacca. Went to the frigging wrong/long way! It was actually just straight up but we ended up walking a BIG round circle and it took us more than half an hour to walk just a 10-minute walk. =.= Then when going back that time even WORSE! Heavy rain like crazy! Bought a super expensive + cacat-ed umbrella at 7-eleven which costs RM12.90! PINK COLOUR SOMEMORE! YUCKS! Then walked back home from KJ Station to Thomas's house since my car was there. On the way back to his house, a frigging stupid car SPLASHED THE FRIGGING DIRTY + COLD + DISGUSTING water on ME! Speed speed speed! See people walking won't slow down a bit de hor? =.= Somemore that time storm raining leh! I so scared I'd kena lightning strike. Then what was even more stupid hor, the umbrella kena flipped upside down due to the super strong wind. Then I just covered myself with the frigging small area of the umbrella. So basically, my body was TOTALLY WET! I was thinking I might as well just throw that stupid umbrella away and walk in the rain. But I thought of people may be thinking I might be some crazy fella who just ran out from Tanjung Rambutan. So didn't do it. LOL!

Then reached Thomas's house and bathed, after his mom persuading me to. LOL! I guess I should be listening to Daniel Powter's Bad Day now, since I really really had a bad day. =(

Flowers that you have never seen.

I found out that dialogue is really really important. Without dialogue, I guess I wouldn't know you guys have to deal with so many things, including some serious illness. Thanks for telling us last night. You just made me know you even better and I can see our bond is starting to built up now.

No matter what we are going to face, we will face it, eventually and naturally. Instead of facing it alone, let's just face it TOGETHER! Gambatte my fellow comrades! I will also do my best in every possible way that I could! So then, like what Seko said, whatever flower you are, rose, tulip, hibiscus, daffodil or whatsoever flower you are, JUST BLOOM ONLY LA! =)

Nananana come on!

Alright, starting from today, I'll be fully booked! So if you want to date/meet me, please make an appointment next week. xD!

Today evening, going to collect my MANEH a.k.a money. Lol. Then night time having P4 meeting with Mable at Kar Wen's house. Then tomorrow, might be going WK with my sister and her Malacca's housemates. Then at night got Phoenix Meet at RK. Then Sat, got cleaning at Cheras Kinenkan from 3pm till 5pm++. Then Sun, going to Cheras IPA to do Gokuyo and follow my fellow future leaders to WK for exhibitions!

So basically, I'm fully occupied with Gakkai activities! 福运滚滚来~~ xD!! KOSEN-RUFU~ AKU DATANG NI~~ xD

There's always gonna be another mountain.

Ms Zoe Tang,

Saw your I-Don't-Know post just now and I'm here to give you some suggestions/opinions of mine.

Well, going Form 6 certainly might be a wiser choice as it provides a wide range of choices after taking STPM. You get to go Local-U, which is cheaper compared to Private-U and colleges. Like what you said, you will also be able to discipline yourself and it surely will be a good training for yourself to get prepared for the after-Form-6's student life. It also gives you an extra certificate, unlike going Private-U or colleges where they only give you your certificates once you finish your Diploma and Degree (I think).

But it also has its consequences, of course. You'll live a life which you can never ever imagine how it's going to be like. Homework, school societies, projects, STPM and whole lots of stuff. They'll keep you occupied with so many things in such a short period of time and there will surely be a time when you can't cope up with them at all. But this might be the moment of your life where you can actually train yourself up to have a better time management.

Form 6 is not flawless. Just like human being, it has its disadvantages as well. I guess I need not mention one by one here cause you already know what these disadvantages are. And don't get me wrong, I might sound like trying to convince you to take Form 6, but I am certainly not. The choices are still in your hands. It depends on how you choose it. It's time to make up our minds now, whether Form 6 or colleges or Private-U or whatsoever options you have. It has been almost 5 months since we left school. A great deal of time has just gone by and we just can't let it slip away like that. Take a breather and start thinking what you really want from the bottom of your heart.

Alright. That's all! I'm sure you will be able to come out with a solution! Ga yao, my friend. =)

Another sleepless night (Part II).

Today woke up at 8.45am. Unusually early. What to do? Need to buy breakfast for my grandparents since they wake up super early everyday. LOL. But it's also good for health la. Like what the Chinese says, sleep early and wake up early, body healthy! xD

Last night I couldn't sleep, again. Been rolling on my bed for almost 2 hours. Went to bed at 1am and I just couldn't sleep. Checked the time and it was almost 3am. Then I was like, gosh, what happened to you, Mr. Jason Siow? JUST SLEEP, MAN! Seriously, before I got to my bed, I was exhausted. By the time I lied on my bed, I felt energetic. Is something wrong with me? Should I seek medical attention? @@

But yea. It's 10 in the morning now and I'm slowly getting sleepy. Guess that I'll off to my bed after finish watching my Naruto and harvesting my crops in FarmVille. Bye!

Great day!

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else~ Nanananananananana~ xD Love this song. Recently I've found out that there are many songs about being proud of yourself and songs that encourage people to feel great about themselves, like Firework by Katy Perry, The Climb by Miley Cyrus, Born This Way by Lady Gaga and Who Says by Selena Gomez & The Scene. These songs surely had some great impact on people, especially on me and that really shows how powerful music can be. =D

Alright. Just went to have steamboat with my fellow P4 comrades and the food was really good! Well, went there to celebrate Siew Min's sister, Siew Xing's birthday and gosh. She's so young. Only 14 years old! And there I was thinking she might be 16 or something cause seriously, she looked a bit mature. xD. But anyway, yea. Celebrated her birthday with Kok Hoe, Kok Weng and he's so GROWN UP NOW! Form 4 already! I still remember the day back when we were still gym boys and he was sooooooo tiny and cute! But now, voice changed, grew taller, etc etc and I suddenly felt so old =(. I guess I just went too far. Hahahhaa. But anyway, celebrated Siew Xing's birthday with Kok Hoe, Kok Weng, Jun Kee, Sai Mon, Sue Han, Siew Min, Kah Kay and myself! Had a great time and great food with all of them, even though the food mainly was seafood and I lied to them that I can't eat them because I'm allergic to seafood. Well, just lazy to explain everything. xD. And I kept on refilling the ice-cream cause it was free. Well, not free actually, I paid 30 bucks for EVERYTHING and I ate like a hungry lion. xD

After that, fetched Jun Kee back only because Sai Mon's got her boyfriend to fetch her. Reached back home and here I am, after bathing of course. LOL. Alright guys, guess that I spent my day not that meaninglessly, AT LEAST. And here's a group photo of us!

Upper left to right: Kok Hoe, Jun Kee, Me and Kok Weng
Bottom left to right: Sai Mon, Sue Han, Siew Xing, Kah Kay and Siew Min

Alright, I'm off to Naruto now. Cheers! =)

Another sleepless night.

Damn. I've always been sleeping at this late hour recently. In fact, it's already 1 in the morning and I am still NOT tired yet and I have to wake up at 8 o'clock every single morning to buy breakfast for my grandparents and yet, I am still here. How awesome is that? =.=

But anyway, I'm here to blog because I'm just plainly bored. Just re-watched first 4 episodes of Glee Season 1 because I finally get tired of watching Naruto all the time and in fact, I've even watched until episode 60+ of Naruto Shippuuden. And don't mistaken that. Naruto is DIFFERENT from Naruto Shippuuden. Naruto consists of 220 episodes and I've finished watching that a decade ago. Oh well, just a month ago, actually. And Naruto Shippuuden is about the grown-up Naruto and so far it has about 200+ episodes and the series is still NOT over yet. Great. It means I have to catch up till the latest one before Form 6 starts because seriously, when Form 6 starts, I'd be pumped up and occupied with so many damn things in that short period of time.

Alright. My eyelids finally are getting heavier now. See ya. Only when I have the mood to blog, again. That is. Bye.

Annoyed.

Can somebody please tell me how to get rid of those annoying spammers in my Chat Box? Seriously, they annoy me till the peak!

As you shoot across the sky.

I personally love this video very much. It somehow touches my heart deeply. This music video isn't just plainly a music video. Behind this video, there are a lot of stories from the people all over the world who struggle so much in their lives just to achieve their dreams. The concept of this video is really really very inspiring to me and I love it so much.

Somehow, anyhow.

My best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow.

But how many times will it take?
How many times will it take for me to get it right?

Walk on your wavelength.

I'm here to suggest you to better believe that I'm not dead, yet. Not until Form 6 starts, that is.

P/S: Naruto kicks asses.

Extraterrestrial.

You're so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil?
Could you be an angel?
Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating
Leaves my body glowing
They say be afraid
You're not like the other
Futuristic lover
Different DNA
They don't understand you

You're from a whole another world
A different dimension
You opened my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
Infect me with your love and,
Fill me with your poison
Take me, t-t-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

You're so supersonic
Wanna feel your power
Stun me with your laser
Your kiss is cosmic
Every move is magic

You're from a whole another world
A different dimension
You opened my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
Infect me with your love and,
Fill me with your poison
Take me, t-t-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

This is transcendental
On another level
Boy, you're my lucky star
I wanna walk on your wavelength
And be there when you vibrate
For you I'll risk it all
All

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
Infect me with your love and,
Fill me with your poison
Take me, t-t-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrial

Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

In the glass of her boudoir.

I just created a few new words.

Let horse come here,
I teman till end.

*放马过来， 我奉陪到底*

I am so creative hor? xD!

I'm Mother Monster's Little Monster.

I'm beautiful in my way~ 'Cause God makes no mistakes~ I'm on the right track baby I was born this way!! I am so so so so so IN LOVE with this song. Opps, let me rephrase that. I am OBSESSED with the song until the point that I need to listen to this song AT LEAST a few times and that really show how deep Lady Gaga has OWNED my heart. LOL!!

Alright, ignore the 1st part if you ain't a Little Monster a.k.a Lady Gaga's fan. Well, I am finally here after a one-week M.I.A due to the data entry job. Seriously, I have been working NON-STOP from morning until midnight. But worth it la, I got altogether 1.8k in less than a month. WAKAKAKA! I'm a rich boy now, so don't rob me. =(

Okay, I'm off to watch my Blea-ruto now since I have not been watching them for A WEEK! Can you imagine that? I need to survive a week without my Blea-ruto and I've had enough! I am going to watch till puas-puas tonight! Tatas!

Curse me to hell.

I actually wanted to post something happy today. I even typed half of them out but I eventually erased them all. Why? Because you just suddenly bang into my room and RUINED my day. Thank you so much.

Current society.

A world with no prejudice, no judgements, but boundless justice. Is that possible? Nowadays people are being just way too realistic until they could forget what's the purpose of life.

I am very ashamed of you two, sorry to say that. We practice Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. We as the Soka Gakkai members have the big mission to bring peace to the world. Therefore, we've been working so hard for so many events and meetings. But what you guys told me earlier really made me feel so disappointed.

Remember our formal presidents of SGI, Tsunebaro Makiguchi and Josei Toda? They were being thrown to jail because they were against the wrong way of Buddism teaching. They were so strong in terms of faith until they could die in the jail because of not willing to accept the prejudice of Buddism teaching. And next, our current SGI president, Daisaku Ikeda. He was also once thrown into jail because of the exact same thing. That time he went into jail with a smile on his face and he even persuaded the members not to worry about him because there was still faith in this world. Imagine if these 3 presidents were to have the same pathetic thought of yours, do you think we still have the SGI organization? Do you think we still will be able to spread the correct teaching of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism to our surroundings? I don't think so.

You guys kept on telling me that, this is the society, we have no choice but to go with the flow. But you guys were wrong. As a human being, our BIGGEST right is MAKING CHOICES. The choices are made by ourselves, not the choices choose us! If we were born as animals, do you think that we still have the right to make choices? I don't think so.

Yes, society is like that, it's hard to change it. But it is HARD, does it mean we CAN'T do it? There's a big difference between HARD and CAN'T. Bear these words in mind as I mean every single word.

Who says you're not worth it?

Sigh. Why didn't you tell me earlier when I was needed? You just told me to hang around with you and I thought you just wanted to kill the boredom with someone. Therefore, I didn't find you. Furthermore, I needed to take care of my sis once she reaches back home and fetch my mum for lunch. So sorry.

Stop thinking that you're not important or no one concerns about you. Everyone is important. If we are not, then why were we born in this world in the first place? Seriously, don't ever think that you are always the exception one. When I am needed, just tell me. I'll be there if I'm able to, because lately, my car petrol is not filled yet and I have no money now. So, I won't be able to travel here and there. But anyway, you are still welcomed to come to my house and talk to me about your problems because I like being your listener. So please, don't be so pessimistic, alright?

Be strong. Not just physically and mentally, but also in terms of faith. Your mum needs you now. Try to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her whenever you have time, alright? I'm sure things will change. =)

Lalalalala.

Yeap. It's the new layout, again. Seriously, it's already 3 in the morning now and I spent more than an hour for this latest layout. I've tried so many just now but ended up this might be the best. So just screw the previous ones. xD

Time will heal all hearts.

Yes, it's the new layout, again. Better? xD

Give yourself prudence and love your friends.

I'm here to say, I have the most kick-ass best friends ever! Thank you so much for your encouragements and concern about my studies, LIEW TONG SENG AND TANG ZO EE! Love die you two. xD

Entrusting a dream.

Gosh. How long have I not been blogging? 3 days? 5 days? LOL! I promised myself that I will blog every single day since I started blogging but mana tau it ended up... xD! Well, at first I really did so. But when the days drag on, sorry my readers, I no longer have the mood to do so. xD But anyway, I'm here today because.. I'm in the mood, as simple as that. LOL! Today went to course counselling in PJ Centre and it somehow lights the light bulb in me. What am I gonna do after finishing Form 6? What career am I interested in? What path am I gonna choose when the time comes? There were so many questions running through my head at that very moment and I was confused, naturally. But then, after hearing all the courses and experiences and all that stuff, a tiny little part within my heart, somehow thinks that going SUJ or SUA would be the thing that I've wanted all this while. I don't know why I was thinking that because seriously, I NEVER thought of going overseas to further my studies. Firstly it's because of its super duper expensive COST! Secondly it's because I'm afraid of being alone. Without family's support, whether in financial or mentally, or just make it simple, IN EVERY SINGLE WAY, I just don't find the courage to do so. I might need to survive on my own if I were to go overseas. But anyhow, this tiny thought of mine is still being kept in my mind and I really hope that I will be able to go, even though I'm not well prepared YET. Because as a Soka Gakkai member, I think I have the mission to prove that our philosophy of Nichiren Daishonin's teachings will be the most correct way of Buddhism. And in order to achieve that, I somehow think that the only solution is to further my studies in either SUJ or SUA so that I will be able to know even MORE about our SGI organization. Besides that, I have already made up my mind to go to Form 6, as I mentioned earlier. After attending today's course counselling, I eventually set up my goals. I made a vow to myself that NO MATTER HOW, I must must must get 4.0 in my STPM. Yes, I put my target to the highest point and in order to achieve that, I will put 200% in studying my Form 6! Because if I achieve that, I will be able to further my studies in SUJ or SUA without worrying about the cost as I will be able to get full scholarship. So then, JASON SIOW SHI YUAN! GAMBATEH!!!!!

I got through this.

Hello people. I'm actually not in the mood of blogging now, since my Naruto Shippuuden is still waiting for me. But anyhow, I just need to tell my friends who really really care about me that, I am now okay.

Life is filled with sorrows and despair and sometimes we get too upset about it and that we forget that there are people out there who encounter an even worse scenario than ours. Who are we to be tumbling down when those people out there are trying so hard just to survive? Who are we to judge that we are the saddest human being in the whole wide world when there are people out there who can't even have a proper meal?

Therefore, my friend. I've learned my lesson well. Sometimes people may be hard on you, but these are the people who actually make you stronger inside.

Thanks Mum. You are the reason why I'm writing this. You're irreplaceable and I love you so much.

The song that sings my heart out.

What have I done?
I wish I could run
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?
To get it right

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

So I throw up my fists
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish and I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see how much I care

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take to get it right?
To get it right

- Get It Right,
Lea Michele

I wish I could run.

All I wanted to hear from you was, "I know you did your best, it's okay!" or "I am proud of you!". But, I guess my expectation from you was a little too high. Sometimes I just want you to be just like Dad. What he said was only "I'm satisfied with your performance" with a smiling face and that really made me feel so happy and belonged. But instead, all I heard from you was comparison between me and my friends. I am so upset about this.

A little comparison makes us keep on improving ourselves, I know that. But everytime I just couldn't be as good as what my friend is. Maybe I didn't really put much effort in it. Maybe I didn't care much. But I really did my best, isn't that good enough? I'm sorry but this is the best I could give. Sorry if I didn't meet your expectation.

I am just so tired of this now. Don't even feel like talking about it. It eventually deepens the wound in my heart.

Keep on dancing till the world ends.

Sorry for the lack of updating, I was just so lazy as my current life revolves around Naruto a little too much. Naruto. Hmm. It's actually not bad and I'm done watching Naruto. Just started the 1st episode of Naruto Shippuuden, which talks about the grown up Naruto. But anyway, it's just awesome. =)

I'll be getting my SPM result in 12 hours' time. I'm starting to get a little nervous now, surprisingly and suddenly. I thought I won't be feeling a thing about it but it eventually turns out this way. Does this mean I'm not prepared? @@

Sherry Vine the Entertainer.

I was searching for some videos in YouTube and I came across these parody videos of Lady Gaga from Sherry Vine:

Shit My Pants a.k.a Bad Romance




Make Me Moan a.k.a Telephone

You're A Homo a.k.a Alejandro

More This Way a.k.a Born This Way

Last but not least, one from Katy Perry,

Firecrotch a.k.a Firework

(I LOL-ed the most in this)

These videos surely made your day, didn't they? ;)