Remember the first time when we actually talked? I think it was during Sports Day and I talked to your sister and you eventually came and talked to me. But I was very shy that time, so I kinda ignored you. Hahahaha. Hope you didn't mind that. Then slowly, saw you in scouts and I still remember we used to joke about your 'principal spec' cause you were playing a role as a principal during Malam Kebudayaan (MK). Hahahahah. Then a lot had happened in between us and we somehow formed our 'Cool Gang'. Then I still remember there was this one time you asked me whether you can be a part of our 'family' or not cause that time I was Baba then Yen Nee was Mama and Li Kuan was Lui Lui then Zo Ee was Kan Fu. Hhahahaha! Everything seemed so nostalgic and pure and wonderful and these are the things that always put a smile on my face whenever I come to think of it.
Just now when I was driving back home, while looking at the drizzle, I suddenly felt that there were so much that have just slip by without us noticing. Remember the time when we were still Form 1 kids? Everything just seemed so pure and natural. But now, we are just so grown up. Time is really a strange thing, isn't it? When the clock ticks, we won't even know how much time that has just gone by. By the time we realise it, we are already grown up. 5 years have passed, eh? In this 5 years, when I asked myself what I've done to you. I suddenly felt so scared and insecure. I actually didn't do much to you.
Humans are always like this. We will never appreciate things, or even a person until that particular person is gone. THEN, we'll only start to realise that it's too late to do so. To me, I think I've been that kind of person to you. I didn't appreciate you when you were here and now that I'm feeling so guilty and awful that I didn't play a good part as a friend in your life. Therefore, I now apologise for being such an awful friend to you. I know it's really awkward that I'm telling you this kind of thing out of a sudden. But I just can't help myself but keep on thinking that, I failed you as a friend. And by the time when you are leaving us, I only realised this and it's just too late when the realisation came. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for not appreciating you and what you have done to me in the past few years and therefore, I hope it's not too late to tell you that, "I am sorry, Kai Ting."
Gosh, I promised myself that I will not cry anymore but the tears just won't stop falling from my eyes. I don't know why I could actually burst into tears in this kind of stuff but.. I guess I just can't help myself but feeling sorry to you. I don't hope for a forgiveness from you but I hope that you can still be friend with me and forget the things that I've done to you that might have hurt you unintentionally. Alright, tears won't stop falling and I think I need some time to calm myself down.
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Alright, sorry for being so emotional. Hahahha. Well, to me, you are the kind of person who can actually take responsibility in doing anything but you lack of self-confidence. You are a strong person, Kai Ting. Don't be too scared of taking chances and do not ever ever look down on yourself, cause everyone is special in their own way. And one thing I'm really really worried about you is that, when you start to live in Penang, you'll not know how to get socialised and people will take advantage on you for that. You are always the innocent one when it comes to this. So please, take really really good care of yourself, k? Find your new friends there. Live happily in a brand new environment and be cautious in everything you do, alright? Call me if anything goes wrong or anything that you want to tell me personally. I swear I'll be there for you, no matter what happens. And I'm so sorry that I can't make it tomorrow for the breakfast session and going 1U for you. There are things that I have to do tomorrow and I just can't find the time to meet you up.
Okla, it's getting late now and I'm getting sleepy slowly. Lastly, take good care of yourself and do your best in everything! I'm sure someday we will be able to meet up, along with our good friends, Thomas, Zo Ee, Yen Nee, Li Kuan, Ah Ye and myself. Let's work hard together for our own future! =)
This is a special song that I would like to dedicate to you. There are just so many things that I want to tell you but I just can't find the words. Perhaps this song will sing the words out.
A gift of a friend. You gave me your ears when I needed a listener. You gave me your shoulder when I needed someone. You gave me your time and love when I needed a FRIEND. Thanks for all these gifts. Take good care of yourself. We all will miss you.
