Curse me to hell.

I actually wanted to post something happy today. I even typed half of them out but I eventually erased them all. Why? Because you just suddenly bang into my room and RUINED my day. Thank you so much.

Current society.

A world with no prejudice, no judgements, but boundless justice. Is that possible? Nowadays people are being just way too realistic until they could forget what's the purpose of life.

I am very ashamed of you two, sorry to say that. We practice Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. We as the Soka Gakkai members have the big mission to bring peace to the world. Therefore, we've been working so hard for so many events and meetings. But what you guys told me earlier really made me feel so disappointed.

Remember our formal presidents of SGI, Tsunebaro Makiguchi and Josei Toda? They were being thrown to jail because they were against the wrong way of Buddism teaching. They were so strong in terms of faith until they could die in the jail because of not willing to accept the prejudice of Buddism teaching. And next, our current SGI president, Daisaku Ikeda. He was also once thrown into jail because of the exact same thing. That time he went into jail with a smile on his face and he even persuaded the members not to worry about him because there was still faith in this world. Imagine if these 3 presidents were to have the same pathetic thought of yours, do you think we still have the SGI organization? Do you think we still will be able to spread the correct teaching of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism to our surroundings? I don't think so.

You guys kept on telling me that, this is the society, we have no choice but to go with the flow. But you guys were wrong. As a human being, our BIGGEST right is MAKING CHOICES. The choices are made by ourselves, not the choices choose us! If we were born as animals, do you think that we still have the right to make choices? I don't think so.

Yes, society is like that, it's hard to change it. But it is HARD, does it mean we CAN'T do it? There's a big difference between HARD and CAN'T. Bear these words in mind as I mean every single word.

Who says you're not worth it?

Sigh. Why didn't you tell me earlier when I was needed? You just told me to hang around with you and I thought you just wanted to kill the boredom with someone. Therefore, I didn't find you. Furthermore, I needed to take care of my sis once she reaches back home and fetch my mum for lunch. So sorry.

Stop thinking that you're not important or no one concerns about you. Everyone is important. If we are not, then why were we born in this world in the first place? Seriously, don't ever think that you are always the exception one. When I am needed, just tell me. I'll be there if I'm able to, because lately, my car petrol is not filled yet and I have no money now. So, I won't be able to travel here and there. But anyway, you are still welcomed to come to my house and talk to me about your problems because I like being your listener. So please, don't be so pessimistic, alright?

Be strong. Not just physically and mentally, but also in terms of faith. Your mum needs you now. Try to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her whenever you have time, alright? I'm sure things will change. =)

Lalalalala.

Yeap. It's the new layout, again. Seriously, it's already 3 in the morning now and I spent more than an hour for this latest layout. I've tried so many just now but ended up this might be the best. So just screw the previous ones. xD

Time will heal all hearts.

Yes, it's the new layout, again. Better? xD

Give yourself prudence and love your friends.

I'm here to say, I have the most kick-ass best friends ever! Thank you so much for your encouragements and concern about my studies, LIEW TONG SENG AND TANG ZO EE! Love die you two. xD

Entrusting a dream.

Gosh. How long have I not been blogging? 3 days? 5 days? LOL! I promised myself that I will blog every single day since I started blogging but mana tau it ended up... xD! Well, at first I really did so. But when the days drag on, sorry my readers, I no longer have the mood to do so. xD But anyway, I'm here today because.. I'm in the mood, as simple as that. LOL! Today went to course counselling in PJ Centre and it somehow lights the light bulb in me. What am I gonna do after finishing Form 6? What career am I interested in? What path am I gonna choose when the time comes? There were so many questions running through my head at that very moment and I was confused, naturally. But then, after hearing all the courses and experiences and all that stuff, a tiny little part within my heart, somehow thinks that going SUJ or SUA would be the thing that I've wanted all this while. I don't know why I was thinking that because seriously, I NEVER thought of going overseas to further my studies. Firstly it's because of its super duper expensive COST! Secondly it's because I'm afraid of being alone. Without family's support, whether in financial or mentally, or just make it simple, IN EVERY SINGLE WAY, I just don't find the courage to do so. I might need to survive on my own if I were to go overseas. But anyhow, this tiny thought of mine is still being kept in my mind and I really hope that I will be able to go, even though I'm not well prepared YET. Because as a Soka Gakkai member, I think I have the mission to prove that our philosophy of Nichiren Daishonin's teachings will be the most correct way of Buddhism. And in order to achieve that, I somehow think that the only solution is to further my studies in either SUJ or SUA so that I will be able to know even MORE about our SGI organization. Besides that, I have already made up my mind to go to Form 6, as I mentioned earlier. After attending today's course counselling, I eventually set up my goals. I made a vow to myself that NO MATTER HOW, I must must must get 4.0 in my STPM. Yes, I put my target to the highest point and in order to achieve that, I will put 200% in studying my Form 6! Because if I achieve that, I will be able to further my studies in SUJ or SUA without worrying about the cost as I will be able to get full scholarship. So then, JASON SIOW SHI YUAN! GAMBATEH!!!!!

I got through this.

Hello people. I'm actually not in the mood of blogging now, since my Naruto Shippuuden is still waiting for me. But anyhow, I just need to tell my friends who really really care about me that, I am now okay.

Life is filled with sorrows and despair and sometimes we get too upset about it and that we forget that there are people out there who encounter an even worse scenario than ours. Who are we to be tumbling down when those people out there are trying so hard just to survive? Who are we to judge that we are the saddest human being in the whole wide world when there are people out there who can't even have a proper meal?

Therefore, my friend. I've learned my lesson well. Sometimes people may be hard on you, but these are the people who actually make you stronger inside.

Thanks Mum. You are the reason why I'm writing this. You're irreplaceable and I love you so much.

The song that sings my heart out.

What have I done?
I wish I could run
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?
To get it right

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

So I throw up my fists
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish and I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see how much I care

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take to get it right?
To get it right

- Get It Right,
Lea Michele

I wish I could run.

All I wanted to hear from you was, "I know you did your best, it's okay!" or "I am proud of you!". But, I guess my expectation from you was a little too high. Sometimes I just want you to be just like Dad. What he said was only "I'm satisfied with your performance" with a smiling face and that really made me feel so happy and belonged. But instead, all I heard from you was comparison between me and my friends. I am so upset about this.

A little comparison makes us keep on improving ourselves, I know that. But everytime I just couldn't be as good as what my friend is. Maybe I didn't really put much effort in it. Maybe I didn't care much. But I really did my best, isn't that good enough? I'm sorry but this is the best I could give. Sorry if I didn't meet your expectation.

I am just so tired of this now. Don't even feel like talking about it. It eventually deepens the wound in my heart.

Keep on dancing till the world ends.

Sorry for the lack of updating, I was just so lazy as my current life revolves around Naruto a little too much. Naruto. Hmm. It's actually not bad and I'm done watching Naruto. Just started the 1st episode of Naruto Shippuuden, which talks about the grown up Naruto. But anyway, it's just awesome. =)

I'll be getting my SPM result in 12 hours' time. I'm starting to get a little nervous now, surprisingly and suddenly. I thought I won't be feeling a thing about it but it eventually turns out this way. Does this mean I'm not prepared? @@

Sherry Vine the Entertainer.

I was searching for some videos in YouTube and I came across these parody videos of Lady Gaga from Sherry Vine:

Shit My Pants a.k.a Bad Romance




Make Me Moan a.k.a Telephone

You're A Homo a.k.a Alejandro

More This Way a.k.a Born This Way

Last but not least, one from Katy Perry,

Firecrotch a.k.a Firework

(I LOL-ed the most in this)

These videos surely made your day, didn't they? ;)

Rejoice and love yourself today.

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

Whether you're broke or evergreen

You're black, white, beige, chola descent

You're Lebanese, you're orient

Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased

Rejoice and love yourself today

'Cause baby, you were born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi

Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby

I was born to survive

No matter black, white or beige

Chola or orient made

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born to be brave

I like the lyrics of this song! So meaningful! =D

Treasure tower.

Seko Ong's experience sharing was epic! There were a lot of lines that seriously and really touched my heart deeply! She sure is a great speaker!

What else is there for you to expect when you yourself are already the treasure tower? Yes, we are all Buddhas, we ARE all a treasure tower to ourselves. So we shall chant with no doubts and chant with determination! There is nothing to be feared cause we are FEARLESS! =D

Ooh, there ain't no other way.

I've been watching this for billions of times and yet, I still don't get bored of it. Mother Monster sure had all of her Little Monsters' hearts! =D

Movies movies movies~

Tonight's experience sharing is going to be GREAT-O! I have been longing to hear sharing from Seko Ong and tonight is finally the night! And it somehow makes me think of Black Eyed Peas's I Gotta Feeling. xD

And after tonight, I will be filled with so much passion in doing everything! And I will surely find my hengdais to watch some movies cause seriously, the last movie that I watched was.. Rapunzel? And that was freaking long ago! I swear I ain't gonna miss ANY movies again! xD

Money money money~

FINALLY finished the 200 sets of data entry! It takes a WEEK for you to do so. But it also means it only takes a week for you to earn RM1000, which is DAMN a lot! xD

After getting that 1k, I promise myself that I won't spend it elsewhere except my car petrol and my form 6 expenses! MUST SAVE MORE MONEY NOW!!!

Aren't you?

When I do something wrong, I will admit it. Even if I don't, I won't deny it. I'll apply my courage in facing the problems instead. That's how I live my life now.

Can we stop fighting now? I just want to talk, not scream/yell with vulgar language, just a simple conversation. Cause now I'm just so tired of this repeating drama. Like real tired.

Heal the world, make it a better place.

I didn't expect it would turn out this way. Fighting, again. And I'm getting tired of it. Can we talk? Like the heart-to-heart talk. I don't want both of us to fight again. You and I are annoyed, aren't we?

Yes, there's nothing we can do about it if it is fated. But do you realise we just simply put the blame on fate? I was born to be lazy, this is fate. I was born to be poor and there's nothing I can do about it, so I should just sit there and wait for the money to fall from trees. Is that what you mean?

Recently, me and my friends + hundreds of people are promoting an exhibition which is related to our enviroment. If this is useless, then why are we still doing it? Why do we still need to go for so many trainings as an Exhibition Guide? Are we all stupid? And yes, I don't think it's too late. It's never too late for you to do anything if you put your effort and heart into it because as you said, we are not even sure when is the end of the world. It might be 100 years later, 1000 centuries later or maybe it would never happen. As long as we live, why not start making the earth a greener planet, right here right now?

I did not say that the end of the world is coming, therefore we shall save the earth. No. That's not what I meant. What I'm trying to say is, an action does matter. And as an Exhibition Guide, I will do my best in convincing as many people as I could to start saving our mother earth cause it's never too late for us to do so. But anyway, this Exhibition is titled Seed of Hope. It falls in the mid of April, at Wisma Kebudayaan, Bukit Bintang. Anyone who sees this, please come and 'bong chan' me~ xD

Anyway, as I said in the previous post. This is just my own personal opinion. I don't mean to be offensive. Take it or leave it.

It means Love Needs Faith.

I LOVE MY LIFE

I LOVE THIS RECORD AND,

MI AMORE VOLE FE YAH!

Action matters.

I really don't feel like blogging now because there are still 60+ sets of data I gotta key-in into the soft copy and it's some kind of job that you do at home. But yeah, I don't feel like blogging but there is something that I must voice out before it's too late for people to realise what is actually going on.

The tsunami and earthquake has hit Japan 2 days ago. I believe that everyone knows that. And because of this issue, people start to create/talk about the omen that the end of the world will be here soon in 2012. And because of this, many people said that those are craps and even if it really happens, there is NOTHING we can do about it. I strongly disagree about this.

When we say the word 'nothing', it really means nothing. Remember why the earth used to be so green? Remember the time when our mother earth was being polluted like it was no place for us to live? The world has too many people who are selfish. Taking as many plastic bags as you want, tossing garbage everywhere and so on. They never thought one day like today will actually arrive and it did arrive today.

So what now? We can't just sit still and do nothing about it, can we? Therefore, START doing something NOW for the sake of the future, people! Stop polluting our mother earth! Start bringing recycle bag whenever you go for a shopping. Stop wasting water. Try using public transport if you can. There are sooooo many things that we can actually do to recover our mother earth from illness. So why are we still not doing a thing?

Disasters like what had happened lately in Japan, we can't avoid, that's true. But that doesn't mean we can't do anything about it. If everyone starts to take an action now, the world will surely become a better place for us human beings to live in. Anyway, this post is just my own personal opinion, no offence to anyone.

Don't be a drag, just be a queen.

Below is my current desktop wallpaper:

Yes, it's LADY GAGA,
with her new single's cover,
BORN THIS WAY!

This song is stuck in my head ALL THE TIME. And people say that she copied Madonna cause the song sounds a lot like Express Yourself. But blah. Madonna is definitely surpassed by Lady Gaga a DECADE ago. Madonna? OLD SCHOOL! xD

By the way, Lady Gaga somehow looks like a horse to me in this cover. Surprisingly. LOL!

RED.

I got bored with the previous layout of my blog and it turned out like THIS.

It's very reddish. I know. =P

To whom it may concern.

You are always like that. You say your words without thinking they might have hurt the people around you. That's the reason why we are all now starting to ignore you.

When we tell you about this bad attitude of yours, you will go on with words like, "I'm always like that and I can't be changed", with your super duper irritating emotion. Always this line. I say, ALWAYS. And guess what? We are all now getting so sick of this until we could bear with this line over and over again.

And next, I did not say that I wanted that job. It was YOU who promised that Aunty. And there you were, scolding me for not willing to attend the interview and wasting that Aunty's effort of calling here and there. Hello. Did I say I wanted that job? When I came back from my job at Dragon-i, you just simply told me about this job and you asked me to go for the interview. So then, I told you that I'm NOT interested and you insisted and then promised that Aunty for me. Now what? Putting all the blame on me? Everything started because of no one else, but YOU. YOU were the one who called her. YOU were the one who insisted me to get that job. YOU were the one who decided EVERYTHING. Yes, just you.

You asked me to get that job and work until the end of this year. And I told you, I don't need to go for Form 6 is it? Then you asked me to work and study at the same time. Then I told you I can't bear with it and you said first year of Form 6 is like honeymoon, according to what my cousin sis told you. Now what? You expect me to work on weekends when I start my Form 6? I don't need to go for Junior Group is it? I study study and study on weekdays and then work on weekends is it? I am superman, won't get tired wan is it? I OCCUPY MYSELF WITH EVERYTHING NOT JUST IN MY SCHOOL LIFE BUT ALSO GAKKAI AND YOU STILL INSIST ME TO GET THAT JOB AND WORK FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR IS IT?!?!?!?! HUH!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I AM F*CKING MAD NOW!

You are always like that. Listening to everyone's opinions and making everyone to OBEY this kind of pathetic thought of yours. That's the main reason why you and Dad are always fighting, over and over again. And let me tell you. Dad is getting so sick of this and he just pretends that he is deaf and continues to ignore you.

You know what? Your words don't only hurt me, but also your other family members. That's how EFFECTIVE your words are. Awesome, right?

Would you hold it against me?

Well, my lack of updating just simply suggests that my life has been just like.. that. LOL! A 24/7 driver on weekdays and a waiter on weekends. That's my current duty/job.

And rumour says that SPM result will be out on 10th of March, which means it's this Thursday and surprisingly, I am not excited, neither sad. It's just like "Oh, SPM result is on this Thursday fullstop". Seriously, I just don't get so pumped up when it comes to this.

But anyway, am updating today is just to let you guys know that I'm not dead, yet. Maybe I'll be after SPM result is out. Dead, that is. LOL!

I am so freaking lazy to update now. Okay. Bye guys.

Wishful thinking.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile

So good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

But if we love again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This song somehow reminds me of you.

Same DNA, but born this way.

Lady Gaga had once again made all of us GOOSE BUMPED! The Alejandro video is already creepy enough. Then this.. It's just way too much and I don't really like it. =( But anyway, the choreography is awesome and so is her skull-makeup!