Friday, May 21, 2010

Afterall, I'm still a jerk.

Believe me. I'm writing this with my tears on. I don't know why but it just comes out naturally. I'm sorry for being a jerk. Maybe the jerk among the jerks.

I know I was being rude. I'm not trying to find excuses to hide my wrongs. Do you know how I felt just now? Awful. With suddenly this big problem appeared out of nowhere, I've lost my cool. I didn't know what to do and I was afraid. Just voice out that I'm a coward. Cause I really am. I have a really really bad attitude. Which is I can't take people's words. I will feel mad immediately when someone does that to me, even if I'm wrong. I just can't take it.

I know I was wrong by not respecting you. But have you ever ask yourself did you respect me or her at the first place? You did scream at her, too. Remember? And you said something rude to me at the end. Anyway, just put the blame on me, as I'm trying hard to accept it and I don't mind taking all the blames cause who do I seek for my rights as you're my senior, as you said? So yeah, blame it on me.

Guess that nobody likes to be nagged and being called as a 'shit', huh? Well, I guess that I'll be the special one, as I've been treated like that just now. Ohya, believe me. My tears are still struggling not to fall apart but I guess they just failed to do it in this moment.. And guys who cry don't mean that they're sissies or weak. Instead, it means they're brave enough to let those tears fall.

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