You can't buy a house in heaven.

It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town
This time I'm not leaving without you
You taste like whiskey when you kiss me awe
I'd give anything again to be your baby doll
This time I'm not leaving without you

He said, sit back down where you belong,
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we made love the first time
When you said to me, there

Something, something about this place
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah, something about baby, you and I

It's been two years since I let you go
I couldn't listen to a joke or rock 'n' roll
Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart
On my birthday, you sang me "Heart of Gold"
With a guitar humming and no clothes
This time I'm not leaving without you, ohh-ohh

Sit back down where you belong,
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we made love the first time
When you said to me, there

Something, something about this place
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah, something about baby, you and I

You and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You and I
You, you and I
Oh yeah, I'd rather die
Without you and I

Come on!
Put your drinks up!

We got a whole lotta money but we still pay rent
'Cause you can't buy a house in heaven
There's only three men that I'ma serve my whole life
It's my daddy and Nebraska and Jesus Crist, yeah

Something, something about the chase
Six whole years
I'm a New York woman, born to run you down
Still want my lipstick all over your face
Something, something about just knowing when it's right
So put your drinks up for Nebraska
For Nebraska, Nebraska, I love you

You and I
You, you and I
Baby, I'd rather die
Without you and I
You and I
You, you and I
Nebraska, I'd rather die
Without you and I

It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town
This time I'm not leaving without you

Like a skyscraper.

Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Spiritful me.

HI! It's been a looooooooooooong time since I blogged. How are ya doing? HAHAHAHA! Suddenly I feel so energetic and the mood to blog finally came! Happy? :P

Form 6 is FUN. With my super duper lame + funny + over-active classmates, especially May Ching and Elaine! HAHHAHA! Class without them will be so boring. I love you girls so much! XD! And also made a lot a lot of new friends here and I can tell they're all good friends! So glad and happy to know all of them!

But anyway, Form 6 sometimes can be stressful, especially when you're having Econs. Those who know how my Econs teacher is like, you know how is it. Hahahaha! But no doubt, she's a good teacher, a very responsible one indeed. Then the rest of the teachers also not bad la. Just that the PA teacher is not very welcomed by the students. But to me, I think she's quite okay la. At least she teaches, that's good enough. Anyway, it all depends on us whether we want to study or not, right? ;)

Then next, it will be my further-studying in America. This dream of mine has been kept inside of me for a certain time. I did not dare to tell anyone except some good friends of mine because I was afraid of purchasing that dream. But then, after listening to the experiences from the students in SUA (Soka University of America), suddenly I made up my mind. I WANT to go to SUA. For now, I don't really care much about financial problems or difficulties in socialising in a new country or whatsoever. I WANT to purchase my dream. Therefore, nothing can stop me. NOTHING. I will go for it, I will apply for scholarships and I will sit for SAT. Even though I shall fail, I will stand back up and continue trying harder and even harder in order to fulfill my dream. I will. I WILL! RAWRRR!!!

But of course, that does not mean I will stop trying hard to continue my Form 6. At the same time, I will do both. Both Form 6 and SAT. Form 6 is fun, as I said, but it can be busy too. Now I have to deal with the library (KETUA PSS! WAKAKAKA!) and deal with the Form 6 Society (PRESIDENT!! WAKAKAKA! But gonna resign soon. :P). So there are actually whole lots of stuff to do. And night time, have to go out for Gakkai meetings, almost every night. So the only time left for me to do my revision and homework is in the evening. I only have 4pm-6.30pm to finish up my school work. Sometimes I even ask myself, wow, how can I do so many stuff in a day? I feel like a Superman! Hahahaha! But of course, I enjoy doing all of them at the same time. :D And at night, I'll be exhausted and I'll surely sleep like a dead man. This is the moment where I cherish and appreciate the most! The time to recharge your battery and continue to fight for the next day!

So I guess that's my daily routine. SUA, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to come to you. But I will guarantee you that, I will DO MY BEST to come to you! Even if I were to fail, but at least I DID my BEST and I will have not a single regret. NOT AT ALL. :)

Please come to your senses.

Sometimes it's hard to deal with stuff. In fact, it's so hard, to the point that somehow it seems like it can never be solved. But does that mean it really can't? Really?

Seeing a young man like you breaking down because of whatever-it-is, you know how depressed am I? Hell no, not only me, but the people around you. Do you know how worried everyone is? Do you have any idea on how my parents were like when they heard you feeling like doing stuff which you shouldn't be doing? They were so disappointed. Even myself can tell that. So why can't you?

I don't expect much from you. All I wanted to do was just trying to make you understand and make you come to your senses. But I guess my expectation on you was way too high. Remember what you have told me? You said that you will change. But I am so sorry to say that, I see nothing from you. Aren't you ashamed of how empty your life is? Because of that particular thing, now you're living an unusual and meaningless life. Is it really worth it? Really? Don't you want to make a change?

Life isn't about one particular thing or a person. Life itself is beautiful. That one particular thing might blindfold you from seeing the beautiful ones around you. But sometimes you just have to open your eyes and start noticing that life isn't supposed to be lived like how you are living it now. It's just too wasted.

My friends did tell me not to care about you. Instead, I should just let you suffer alone and make you learn from it. But I can't, because I already acknowledged you as a part of my family. When a family member of yours is having a hard time, will you let him/her be the way they are? I guess you won't, right? Same goes to me. It's time to wake up now. You have been sleeping for days and you can't afford to stay asleep any longer. You have just wasted too much time. Time is precious. Once you realise it, it's no longer how it used to be when you were younger. This is life. Appreciate every little bit of the things around you and I'm sure that you will have no regrets when your days are numbered.

Lamest post ever.

I feel that recently I've been lacking of updates! I know there are people out there, wanting to read my posts every single day so badly. Therefore, don't worry. I'm here for you. LOL!

OK, I've been leaving this page on for almost an hour and I'm so lazy to update now. I guess that's all from me for today. LOL! Bye. :)

Run right to the edge with you.

There ain't no reason you and me should be alone
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
But I got a reason that you-hoo should take me home tonight
I need a man that thinks it right when it's so wrong
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
Right on the limit's where we know we both belong tonight

It's hot to feel the rush
To brush the dangerous
I'm gonna run right to
To the edge with you
Where we can both fall far in love

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you

Another shot before we kiss the other side
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
I'm on the edge of something final we call life tonight
Alright! Alright!
Put on your shades 'cause I'll be dancing in the flames
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
It isn't hell if everybody knows my name tonight
Alright! Alright!

It's hot to feel the rush
To brush the dangerous
I'm gonna run right to
To the edge with you
Where we can both fall far in love

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you

I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you

Things are gonna get better.

Is it true that you only come to your realisation when something terrible happens? I've been living for 18 years. And this realisation finally came to me, when I nearly died. Physically died, I mean.

I have encountered a car accident this evening, at KL. I wanted to make a U-turn because I was heading the wrong direction. Whenever I head to the wrong directions, I won't be able to help myself but feeling panicked. And at that very moment, I thought the emergency lane was a U-turn. So, I brake my car. But, I could feel that my car didn't slow down because of the heavy rain. In fact, I couldn't make it on time to make my U-turn and I just turned the steering wheel. Then out of a sudden, I felt that my car was moving forward, even after I have fully stopped it. Then I realised, my car was banged.

At that very moment, I panicked like, like I've never felt before. A lot of stuff suddenly ran through my mind. I was like, did I kill anyone? Did I spoil my car? Did I this, did I that? I was worried like hell that I thought that I might have injured or killed people. But luckily and fortunately, no one got hurt. In fact, not even a scratch. Then the next thing was, the victim got out of his car and scolded. I was too worried and too afraid to even apologise. My mind was blank. Totally empty. When I came to my senses, I realised my mom had been apologising non-stop while I sat there doing nothing but chicken out. Then, my mom called my dad and that victim, Mohan, finally calmed down and we were all waiting for my dad to come.

After a while, two officers suddenly came by and asked me to take out my license and I/C. I was panicked like shit because my mom told me not to give my license to anyone because if I gave them, my license will be gantung-ed and that's it. I don't need to drive anymore. But then luckily, they didn't do anything and just returned them to me after checking. And then they asked me to drive to the nearest police station because they said that we were blocking the traffic, which was incorrect. We didn't block the traffic, it was because of all the busy-body ones kept on staring at us. Alright, after reaching the police station, my dad finally arrived and my parents told me not to say a word about the accident. In fact, they even asked me to say that it was my dad who drove the car, not me, so that my license won't be gantung-ed whereas my dad's license won't be affected because he's not having a P license. Even though my dad was doing this willingly, but deep in my heart, I wanted to make it up to him by telling the officer the truth, but I didn't have the guts. I was afraid of my license will be gone. In the end, I willingly let my father make the report by himself, like a coward.

After that, my mood started to stabilise. Waited for my dad to come out and we went back home after fetching my friends back to their home. While I was having dinner with my family, my dad told me this, "Don't be sad, Jason. No one is going to scold you. We all learn from our mistakes and you should be thankful because the officers told me that the place where your accident took place is actually the place where most people died when they encountered an accident. Don't feel sorry to anyone. Alright?" At that moment, I had a strong urge to cry but I eventually swallowed back my tears. I left my father went to the police's room all alone and still, he didn't blame me, but consoled me to not to worry. I felt so useless. I felt like a coward, out of a sudden.

I know I couldn't make it up to him, after all the humiliation from the officers and the victim. Therefore, the only thing I could possibly do to him is by chanting for me to have more wisdom for his sake. This is the least I can do to make it up to him. I am sorry, Dad. I was panicked when I went to the wrong direction because I wanted to show you that I also have a good sense of direction, like my brother. But I guess I screwed up in the end. I am sorry and I swear it won't happen next time. If it happens again, just let them take my license. I can't bear to see you being humiliated anymore. It just hurts too much.