Jaysern's

You can't buy a house in heaven.

2011-08-19T14:36:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town
This time I'm not leaving without you
You taste like whiskey when you kiss me awe
I'd give anything again to be your baby doll
This time I'm not leaving without you

He said, sit back down where you belong,
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we made love the first time
When you said to me, there

Something, something about this place
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah, something about baby, you and I

It's been two years since I let you go
I couldn't listen to a joke or rock 'n' roll
Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart
On my birthday, you sang me "Heart of Gold"
With a guitar humming and no clothes
This time I'm not leaving without you, ohh-ohh

Sit back down where you belong,
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we made love the first time
When you said to me, there

Something, something about this place
Something 'bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah, something about baby, you and I

You and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You and I
You, you and I
Oh yeah, I'd rather die
Without you and I

Come on!
Put your drinks up!

We got a whole lotta money but we still pay rent
'Cause you can't buy a house in heaven
There's only three men that I'ma serve my whole life
It's my daddy and Nebraska and Jesus Crist, yeah

Something, something about the chase
Six whole years
I'm a New York woman, born to run you down
Still want my lipstick all over your face
Something, something about just knowing when it's right
So put your drinks up for Nebraska
For Nebraska, Nebraska, I love you

You and I
You, you and I
Baby, I'd rather die
Without you and I
You and I
You, you and I
Nebraska, I'd rather die
Without you and I

It's been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I'm back in town
This time I'm not leaving without you

Like a skyscraper.

2011-08-06T15:35:00.001+08:00

Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Spiritful me.

2011-07-27T15:18:00.002+08:00

HI! It's been a looooooooooooong time since I blogged. How are ya doing? HAHAHAHA! Suddenly I feel so energetic and the mood to blog finally came! Happy? :P

Form 6 is FUN. With my super duper lame + funny + over-active classmates, especially May Ching and Elaine! HAHHAHA! Class without them will be so boring. I love you girls so much! XD! And also made a lot a lot of new friends here and I can tell they're all good friends! So glad and happy to know all of them!

But anyway, Form 6 sometimes can be stressful, especially when you're having Econs. Those who know how my Econs teacher is like, you know how is it. Hahahaha! But no doubt, she's a good teacher, a very responsible one indeed. Then the rest of the teachers also not bad la. Just that the PA teacher is not very welcomed by the students. But to me, I think she's quite okay la. At least she teaches, that's good enough. Anyway, it all depends on us whether we want to study or not, right? ;)

Then next, it will be my further-studying in America. This dream of mine has been kept inside of me for a certain time. I did not dare to tell anyone except some good friends of mine because I was afraid of purchasing that dream. But then, after listening to the experiences from the students in SUA (Soka University of America), suddenly I made up my mind. I WANT to go to SUA. For now, I don't really care much about financial problems or difficulties in socialising in a new country or whatsoever. I WANT to purchase my dream. Therefore, nothing can stop me. NOTHING. I will go for it, I will apply for scholarships and I will sit for SAT. Even though I shall fail, I will stand back up and continue trying harder and even harder in order to fulfill my dream. I will. I WILL! RAWRRR!!!

But of course, that does not mean I will stop trying hard to continue my Form 6. At the same time, I will do both. Both Form 6 and SAT. Form 6 is fun, as I said, but it can be busy too. Now I have to deal with the library (KETUA PSS! WAKAKAKA!) and deal with the Form 6 Society (PRESIDENT!! WAKAKAKA! But gonna resign soon. :P). So there are actually whole lots of stuff to do. And night time, have to go out for Gakkai meetings, almost every night. So the only time left for me to do my revision and homework is in the evening. I only have 4pm-6.30pm to finish up my school work. Sometimes I even ask myself, wow, how can I do so many stuff in a day? I feel like a Superman! Hahahaha! But of course, I enjoy doing all of them at the same time. :D And at night, I'll be exhausted and I'll surely sleep like a dead man. This is the moment where I cherish and appreciate the most! The time to recharge your battery and continue to fight for the next day!

So I guess that's my daily routine. SUA, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to come to you. But I will guarantee you that, I will DO MY BEST to come to you! Even if I were to fail, but at least I DID my BEST and I will have not a single regret. NOT AT ALL. :)

Please come to your senses.

2011-06-26T00:37:00.003+08:00

Sometimes it's hard to deal with stuff. In fact, it's so hard, to the point that somehow it seems like it can never be solved. But does that mean it really can't? Really?

Seeing a young man like you breaking down because of whatever-it-is, you know how depressed am I? Hell no, not only me, but the people around you. Do you know how worried everyone is? Do you have any idea on how my parents were like when they heard you feeling like doing stuff which you shouldn't be doing? They were so disappointed. Even myself can tell that. So why can't you?

I don't expect much from you. All I wanted to do was just trying to make you understand and make you come to your senses. But I guess my expectation on you was way too high. Remember what you have told me? You said that you will change. But I am so sorry to say that, I see nothing from you. Aren't you ashamed of how empty your life is? Because of that particular thing, now you're living an unusual and meaningless life. Is it really worth it? Really? Don't you want to make a change?

Life isn't about one particular thing or a person. Life itself is beautiful. That one particular thing might blindfold you from seeing the beautiful ones around you. But sometimes you just have to open your eyes and start noticing that life isn't supposed to be lived like how you are living it now. It's just too wasted.

My friends did tell me not to care about you. Instead, I should just let you suffer alone and make you learn from it. But I can't, because I already acknowledged you as a part of my family. When a family member of yours is having a hard time, will you let him/her be the way they are? I guess you won't, right? Same goes to me. It's time to wake up now. You have been sleeping for days and you can't afford to stay asleep any longer. You have just wasted too much time. Time is precious. Once you realise it, it's no longer how it used to be when you were younger. This is life. Appreciate every little bit of the things around you and I'm sure that you will have no regrets when your days are numbered.

Lamest post ever.

2011-06-24T20:39:00.002+08:00

I feel that recently I've been lacking of updates! I know there are people out there, wanting to read my posts every single day so badly. Therefore, don't worry. I'm here for you. LOL!

OK, I've been leaving this page on for almost an hour and I'm so lazy to update now. I guess that's all from me for today. LOL! Bye. :)

Run right to the edge with you.

2011-06-18T01:28:00.003+08:00

There ain't no reason you and me should be alone
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
But I got a reason that you-hoo should take me home tonight
I need a man that thinks it right when it's so wrong
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
Right on the limit's where we know we both belong tonight

It's hot to feel the rush
To brush the dangerous
I'm gonna run right to
To the edge with you
Where we can both fall far in love

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you

Another shot before we kiss the other side
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
I'm on the edge of something final we call life tonight
Alright! Alright!
Put on your shades 'cause I'll be dancing in the flames
Tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby
It isn't hell if everybody knows my name tonight
Alright! Alright!

It's hot to feel the rush
To brush the dangerous
I'm gonna run right to
To the edge with you
Where we can both fall far in love

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you

I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you

I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
The edge, the edge
I'm on the edge of glory
And I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you
I'm on the edge with you

Things are gonna get better.

2011-06-12T20:22:00.003+08:00

Is it true that you only come to your realisation when something terrible happens? I've been living for 18 years. And this realisation finally came to me, when I nearly died. Physically died, I mean.

I have encountered a car accident this evening, at KL. I wanted to make a U-turn because I was heading the wrong direction. Whenever I head to the wrong directions, I won't be able to help myself but feeling panicked. And at that very moment, I thought the emergency lane was a U-turn. So, I brake my car. But, I could feel that my car didn't slow down because of the heavy rain. In fact, I couldn't make it on time to make my U-turn and I just turned the steering wheel. Then out of a sudden, I felt that my car was moving forward, even after I have fully stopped it. Then I realised, my car was banged.

At that very moment, I panicked like, like I've never felt before. A lot of stuff suddenly ran through my mind. I was like, did I kill anyone? Did I spoil my car? Did I this, did I that? I was worried like hell that I thought that I might have injured or killed people. But luckily and fortunately, no one got hurt. In fact, not even a scratch. Then the next thing was, the victim got out of his car and scolded. I was too worried and too afraid to even apologise. My mind was blank. Totally empty. When I came to my senses, I realised my mom had been apologising non-stop while I sat there doing nothing but chicken out. Then, my mom called my dad and that victim, Mohan, finally calmed down and we were all waiting for my dad to come.

After a while, two officers suddenly came by and asked me to take out my license and I/C. I was panicked like shit because my mom told me not to give my license to anyone because if I gave them, my license will be gantung-ed and that's it. I don't need to drive anymore. But then luckily, they didn't do anything and just returned them to me after checking. And then they asked me to drive to the nearest police station because they said that we were blocking the traffic, which was incorrect. We didn't block the traffic, it was because of all the busy-body ones kept on staring at us. Alright, after reaching the police station, my dad finally arrived and my parents told me not to say a word about the accident. In fact, they even asked me to say that it was my dad who drove the car, not me, so that my license won't be gantung-ed whereas my dad's license won't be affected because he's not having a P license. Even though my dad was doing this willingly, but deep in my heart, I wanted to make it up to him by telling the officer the truth, but I didn't have the guts. I was afraid of my license will be gone. In the end, I willingly let my father make the report by himself, like a coward.

After that, my mood started to stabilise. Waited for my dad to come out and we went back home after fetching my friends back to their home. While I was having dinner with my family, my dad told me this, "Don't be sad, Jason. No one is going to scold you. We all learn from our mistakes and you should be thankful because the officers told me that the place where your accident took place is actually the place where most people died when they encountered an accident. Don't feel sorry to anyone. Alright?" At that moment, I had a strong urge to cry but I eventually swallowed back my tears. I left my father went to the police's room all alone and still, he didn't blame me, but consoled me to not to worry. I felt so useless. I felt like a coward, out of a sudden.

I know I couldn't make it up to him, after all the humiliation from the officers and the victim. Therefore, the only thing I could possibly do to him is by chanting for me to have more wisdom for his sake. This is the least I can do to make it up to him. I am sorry, Dad. I was panicked when I went to the wrong direction because I wanted to show you that I also have a good sense of direction, like my brother. But I guess I screwed up in the end. I am sorry and I swear it won't happen next time. If it happens again, just let them take my license. I can't bear to see you being humiliated anymore. It just hurts too much.

In this california king bed.

2011-06-11T05:30:00.004+08:00

I guess there were too much of Gaga in my previous posts. Therefore, this time I'll update something which has nothing to do with her. Hopefully I can la. =P

Guess what time is it now? Yes, it's a freaking 5.30 in the MORNING now. I stayed up the whole night because of those effing annoying cats. Seriously, they annoyed me not just only once, but COUNTLESS times. I really don't know how am I supposed to deal with this when I really really NEED a goodnight sleep. It's been happening so frequently and something must be DONE to stop this.

So, does anyone have any recommendation on how to GET RID of these annoying small little creatures? Seriously, I NEED your suggestion to stop this tragedy of mine. Please and thank you.

Sexiness.

2011-06-07T23:40:00.003+08:00

I got bored of my previous desktop wallpaper and it turned out to be this!

Don't you just agree that she looks EXTREMELY pretty here? The makeup, the eyes, the mouth, the nose, the palm, the fingernails. I think this is how I define 'perfect'. =P

Betrayal.

2011-06-07T17:06:00.004+08:00

Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, GAGA !

This song is addictive. Don't ya agree?

Glory that I bare.

2011-06-01T11:05:00.003+08:00

Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ohh

Oooh-ooh-ooh-ohh, whoa

Whenever I'm dressed cool
My parents put up a fight
(Uh huh, uh huh)
And if I'm hot shot
Mum will cut my hair at night
(Uh huh, uh huh)
And in the morning
I'm short of my identity
(Uh huh, Uh huh)
I scream, "Mom and Dad"
"Why can't I be who I wanna be?"
(Uh huh, uh huh)
To be

I just wanna be myself
And I want you to love me for who I am
I just wanna be myself
And I want you to know, I am my hair

I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
I'm not a freak
I must keep fighting to stay cool on the streets
I've had enough, enough, enough
And this is my prayer, I swear
I'm as free as my hair
I'm as free as my hair
I am my hair
I am my hair

As free as my hair-air-air-air-air-air
Hair-air-air-air-air-air-air-air
As free as my hair-air-air-air-air-air
Hair-air-air-air-air-air-air-air

Sometimes I want some raccoon or red highlights
(Uh huh, uh huh)
Just because I want my friends to think I'm dynamite
(Uh huh, uh huh)
And on Friday, roxy high school dance
(Uh huh, uh huh)
I've got my bangs to hide that I don't stand a chance
(Uh huh, uh huh)
A chance

I just wanna be myself
And I want you to love me for who I am
I just wanna be myself
And I want you to know, I am my hair

I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
I'm not a freak
I must keep fighting to stay cool on the streets
I've had enough, enough, enough
And this is my prayer, I swear
I'm as free as my hair
I'm as free as my hair
I am my hair
I am my hair

As free as my hair-air-air-air-air-air
Hair-air-air-air-air-air-air-air
As free as my hair-air-air-air-air-air
Hair-air-air-air-air-air-air-air

I just wanna be free
I just wanna be me
And I want lots of friends that invite me to their parties
I don't wanna change
And I don't wanna be ashamed
I'm the spirit of my hair
It's all the glory that I bare

I'm my hair, my hair
I'm my hair, my hair
I'm my hair, my hair
And all the glory that I bare
I'm my hair, my hair
It's all the glory that I bare
I'm my hair, my hair
I'm my hair, yea yea
(Glory that I bare)
I'm my hair, yea yea
(Glory that I bare)
I'm my hair, yea yea
(Glory that I bare)
My hair, yea yea

I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
This is my prayer
That I'll die living just as free as my hair
I've had enough
I'm not a freak
I must keep fighting to stay cool on the streets
I've had enough, enough, enough
And this is my prayer (This is my prayer)
I swear (Yeah)
I'm as free as my hair
I'm as free as my hair (This is my prayer)
I am my hair (Yeah)
I am my hair
I'm my hair, my hair

Judas's lover.

2011-05-31T13:42:00.002+08:00

This is my new desktop wallpaper.

My mom saw this and she was like, "Is this Lady Gaga? Why does she look so scary?". And I was like, "...........". But true also la. She looks kinda scary here. But, who cares? =P

He ain't heavy, he's my bro.

2011-05-30T21:02:00.005+08:00

GOSH! I am FINALLY able to sign in to my Blogger! Last few days been trying so hard to sign in but it said my account was not verified. =.= Blah, who cares. As long as I can sign in NOW. Hahahahaha!

For your information, I am supposed to study now because I've made a promise to myself that I will start studying today. But today, unfortunately, I was trying to sign in to my Blogger and I THOUGHT that I wouldn't be able to sign in as well. But it ended up... you know. LOL. That's why I'm here! And I can tell that this is going to be a long one. =P

Form 6 has been a blessing. I found out that I've been using the same sentence for 3 times for my blog. LOL. But anyway, yea. Who the hell told me that Form 6 is suffering?! Lol. Maybe it's because it has just started and I'm still in holiday mood. WHAT? Can't really blame me la. It's holiday what. It's a damn freaking 2-week holiday ya know? RELAX~~ No need to study first. Relax for the first week and start working your ass off on the second week. HAHAHAH! I know that I'm a procrastinator. Can't help it. =P

Then, the subjects that I'm taking are Ekonomi, Sejarah, Bahasa Malaysia, MUET and Pengajian Am. At first when I heard that this school only offers Ekonomi, Sejarah and Bahasa Malaysia for arts class, I was thinking of transferring or having tuition outside, because I seriously CAN'T take Sejarah. Furthermore, the teachers here said that Sejarah is COMPULSORY for this school. So, I evetually thought of leaving this school. But then, fate has brought me here. LOL. Ahh, Imma cut the crap. Lol. I attended Sejarah classes, just for trial and I found out that, EH! SEJARAH IS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD WEI! *For now la.* LOL! I hope Cikgu Ng won't scold me for that. xD Then, I think that I'm slowly in love with Sejarah. Crazy, ain't it? LOL.

Okla, that's for the subjects. Next, will be my super duper lame + perasan + hamsap bro. Hahahaha! Don't scold me for that. LOL. What can I say about him? He's big sized. He has wide forehead. He has super short spiky hair. And... he's lame. LOL. Bro, don't take this as an insult cause I do like lamers. LOL! In fact, he's the one who asked me to write something about him on my blog. LOL! So I'm here, talking about you. Hahaha. I think I'll just cut the crap for now.

You know what? I never thought that we could get along this well, you know? At first, I couldn't really open myself to you. But as time goes by, I found out that you are the one that I can trust and the one that I can run to when I have problems. It's not that I don't have anyone to run to. It's just that, everything just happened way too perfectly and at the same time, way too fast. You'll be transferring school soon. After knowing you for less than a month, I honestly don't really want you to transfer, deep inside of me. Even though I told you that we'll still get to talk to each other, just that it will not be that often, but still, it's hard to let go. I don't know why am I saying this out of a sudden. Maybe it's because we have a lot in common and I want you to know about this. Or maybe it's because I have already acknowledged you as my brother, a brother who shares the same blood. After all this while, I just wanted you to know that no matter where you go, you can still run to me when you have problems, just like before. You told me a lot about your stuff, which I never expected from you because how long have you known me? 10 years? 5 years? Not even a month you've known me but still, you trusted me like you've known me for more than 10 years. Thanks for telling me what you have told me in this past 3 weeks. I appreciate them a lot. Like real a lot. Remember, when you're in a different school, must work hard and study hard for your future. Your mom needs you. Your family needs you. Therefore, you can't tumble down. Must be strong! So that your mom can rely on you, alright? And I'm so looking forward to this Thursday's outing! It feels like it's been ages since I last watched movie. In fact, it's been like what? 4 months? 5 months? And I'm dying to watch movie! ARGHH!

Damn. It's already 9.45pm. What has happened to the-lately-me who was filled with so much passion and determination in studying?! Look at the pathetic me. I'm officially SLACKING, right here, right NOW! ARGH!! I guess I'll just start working my ass off tomorrow morning! I swear! NO MORE PROCRASTINATION! IF YOU EVER SEE ME ONLINE-ING OR WATCHING NARUTO, JUST SLAP/WHACK/PUNCH/PINCH/BITE/SQUEEZE/HIT ME. I am giving you this golden opportunity to do this. *If you ever find me slacking la.* =P Okla, I need to go downstairs already. Must observe what my sister is doing now. If she's watching TV, ngek ngek, she'll get it from me. Oh wait. I'm slacking as well. So I cannot scold her. Like what the Malay says, seperti ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan, something like that. LOL! Okla okla. I must go already. See ya when I have the mood to blog again. And so sorry for the super duper long post. =P BYE!

The glory that I bare.

2011-05-21T23:48:00.004+08:00

Hello peeps. Miss me? I'm sure you do as I've been M.I.A-ing for don't know how many days. Hahahaha. But anyway, I'm here just for a short update for those people out there who want me to blog soooooooo badly. =P

Alright. Form 6 is tough. But it's worth my time and I'm very sure of that. People do tell me lots of stuff like Form 6 is a waste of time and it's very hard or stuff like that. To me, it depends on individual, whether you label it as 'hard', 'waste of time' or 'easy', 'worth my time'. That's all I can say. I'm happy to be in Form 6.

Ohya, before I forget. Just wanted to wish my new friend, whom I called him as 'Bro', Happy Birthday. You are a great friend and a great child to your parents. Thanks for telling so much stuff about you and I appreciate them a lot. And the common things between us, are just way too much and they somehow creep me. But never mind that, as we said, we are already used to it. Hahahahaha. Alright. Even though you'll be transferring, but bros will always remain as bros. Nothing changes, alright? Don't be so sad and emo. Cheer up! =D

That's all for today and needless to say, I'm exhausted and I need some sleep now. Goodnight, peeps! =D

GagaVille.

2011-05-16T23:46:00.003+08:00

GagaVille has ARRIVED! It has some Gaga-looking sheeps and unicorn in that ville. Hahahahha. And I got to listen to Gaga's unreleased song, MARRY THE NIGHT! Sounded so so only. Not as good as Judas. =P

So lazy to update now. Hai gam sin. Bye~

Failure.

2011-05-16T16:43:00.004+08:00

While looking at my sister sleeping, I suddenly felt so bad. Random. LOL. She's just too tired. Not just physically, but also mentally.

Everyday I've been forcing her to do this and that, not allowing her to do this and that, giving her pressure. All I wanted to see was just seeing her growing up to become a better person. I guess this is what a brother always wants their little siblings to become. But I guess I was wrong. The method I used was just too harsh for a little kid like her.

I always ask her to shower right after she comes back from school, never considering whether she's sleeping on the sofa due to the whole day of schooling or not. I always ask her to finish her homework before the night comes, never considering whether she knows how to do or not. I always scold her for not paying attention to me while I was teaching, never considering that she's so tired from waking up 6 in the morning and stayed awake till the rest of the day. I always blame her for not respecting my parents, never considering myself behave like her. I always expect a lot of things out of her, never considering my expectations were too high for a 10 year old kid. I never even consider whether was I doing the right thing or not, because I always thought that I was right.

But just now, seeing her snoring in the room, I had an urge to cry. Sorry for being so emotional out of a sudden, but I just can't help feeling that I failed to become a good brother, a good elder brother who leads his little sibling to the right way. My parents always told me that, "Don't be so harsh on your little sister la, she's so young. When you were young, you were even worse!" and I surely would fight back with words like, "This is the reason why she disrespects you people except me!". But I guess I was wrong. My sister did not respect me, she FEARED me. She's afraid of being scolded, scared of being pressured by me. That is the reason why she did everything just to obey me. I felt that myself is so bossy.

All I wanted to see was just she, being able to grow up to be a good girl. But as I said, my methods were way out of the line. I shouldn't be so harsh on her. I guess.

Hanging on a moment of truth.

2011-05-14T13:22:00.002+08:00

Wanted to blog yesterday but blogger had some problems and I wasn't able to sign in. But never mind that.

As I mentioned in the previous post, Form 6 has been a blessing. I eventually love the school, the classmates, even though I'm not that familiar with them YET, I have a feeling that they'll be a bunch of cool friends. =D. Then next thing about Ken Chia. Don't know whether it's the correct spelling or not. But once again, never mind that. LOL. I was surprised that he told us about his ambition and why did he choose to become what he wants to be in his future. I was very impressed by him, by his words, by his thoughts and his heart. Like what Thomas said, he has a heart of contributing to the society and I was really overwhelmed by that. He is one of the reasons why I join PSS cause he is the Head Prefect of PSS. A person I would look up to, a person I would be proud of, that is the thing I've longed to look for and I think I've finally found the right person. But of course, other reason why joining PSS is also because of the 10% co-curriculum marks. xD

And now, life will be very busy. Schooling and Gakkai. I was very depressed and sad when I heard people saying that they're tired and therefore they skip Gakkai activities. I know it's okay to take a break. But we must know why we want to take a break. Is it for the sake of tiredness? Or is it for the sake of laziness? Or perhaps for the sake of tiredness of tired? After I shifted house and started to have my Gakkai activities here, I realised that I was really shallow, in terms of faith. I need to be strong here. I need to be tough here. The youths here are all lacking of passion and faith and it's very saddening. Therefore, I've learned that I, myself must be the one who motivates them, who takes the lead, who influences others so that the future leaders will be cultivated with compassion. And in order to achieve that, I must be strong in faith by not absenting on any Gakkai activities, as few as possible.

I've learned so much here and I need the people around me to realise this, too. Gakkai isn't about ourselves. It's about the whole organization and it's not easy to keep this organization on the right track. Therefore, we must be bold enough to achieve that. Be true to yourself, don't attend any meetings because you're asked to do so because in the end, you won't be getting any benefit cause you're being forced to. Attend meetings happily and willingly. That is the seed of spirit and it will eventually grow into trees.

I'm on the edge of glory.

2011-05-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

Form 6 has been a bless! I love my new school, my new seniors and the environment. Seriously, I'm sure this is the kind of school that I want and I'm so glad I finally found it! =D

Anyway, just a short update as I better get to my bed ASAP cause I have to wake up at 5.30a.m every single morning. =(. But worth it la. =)

Ohya, one more thing, GAGAVILLE IS COMING SOON! HERE IT IS:

HAHAHA. I seriously don't know how it's going to be like. I wonder do they have Gaga-costumes for my farmer. Or maybe we'll get to adopt little monsters and feed them with milk and grow into adult monsters. LOL!

Alright, that's all. Bye!

To Mum, With Love.

2011-05-08T15:36:00.002+08:00

A betrayal of a prophecy.

2011-05-06T12:55:00.002+08:00

I don't quite get the concept behind the video.

What do you say?

You, inescapable.

2011-05-04T22:22:00.003+08:00

Hello peeps! So long never blog already. Hahahaha. Guess this will be just a short update.

I am so so so happy and glad now! Because I finally see someone in my Phoenix chants! Not that they all don't chant, but this is just the exception one cause I never thought he would actually be the one. I am just so so happy to see this! Lim Yoong Hui! BRAVO! And he told me he started to chant since last month and he was unsatisfied with it cause he only started to chant 2 years after he became a member. When I heard he saying this, I was so so so so HAPPY AND OVERWHELMED! A heart that pursues a higher and deeper desire, this is the spirit! And I am just so surprised that he is the one!

Lim Yoong Hui, now you're in the palm of our hands now! Ngek ngek ngek.. I will tell this to Wee Leng and you surely won't be able to escape from joining this year's GFG Camp cause Wee Leng is a persistent fella! *Don't kill me if you see this, Wee Leng* xD! Hahahaha. Alright, I am so happy now and I hope I'll be able to get some sleep tonight.

Goodnight, PEEPS! =D

Goodbye, my friend.

2011-04-30T23:59:00.004+08:00

I actually wanted to post this in Chinese. But when I thought of typing the words one by one, I suddenly felt so discouraged. LOL. But anyway, this is for my dearest friend, Ms Pang Kai Ting.

Remember the first time when we actually talked? I think it was during Sports Day and I talked to your sister and you eventually came and talked to me. But I was very shy that time, so I kinda ignored you. Hahahaha. Hope you didn't mind that. Then slowly, saw you in scouts and I still remember we used to joke about your 'principal spec' cause you were playing a role as a principal during Malam Kebudayaan (MK). Hahahahah. Then a lot had happened in between us and we somehow formed our 'Cool Gang'. Then I still remember there was this one time you asked me whether you can be a part of our 'family' or not cause that time I was Baba then Yen Nee was Mama and Li Kuan was Lui Lui then Zo Ee was Kan Fu. Hhahahaha! Everything seemed so nostalgic and pure and wonderful and these are the things that always put a smile on my face whenever I come to think of it.

Just now when I was driving back home, while looking at the drizzle, I suddenly felt that there were so much that have just slip by without us noticing. Remember the time when we were still Form 1 kids? Everything just seemed so pure and natural. But now, we are just so grown up. Time is really a strange thing, isn't it? When the clock ticks, we won't even know how much time that has just gone by. By the time we realise it, we are already grown up. 5 years have passed, eh? In this 5 years, when I asked myself what I've done to you. I suddenly felt so scared and insecure. I actually didn't do much to you.

Humans are always like this. We will never appreciate things, or even a person until that particular person is gone. THEN, we'll only start to realise that it's too late to do so. To me, I think I've been that kind of person to you. I didn't appreciate you when you were here and now that I'm feeling so guilty and awful that I didn't play a good part as a friend in your life. Therefore, I now apologise for being such an awful friend to you. I know it's really awkward that I'm telling you this kind of thing out of a sudden. But I just can't help myself but keep on thinking that, I failed you as a friend. And by the time when you are leaving us, I only realised this and it's just too late when the realisation came. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for not appreciating you and what you have done to me in the past few years and therefore, I hope it's not too late to tell you that, "I am sorry, Kai Ting."

Gosh, I promised myself that I will not cry anymore but the tears just won't stop falling from my eyes. I don't know why I could actually burst into tears in this kind of stuff but.. I guess I just can't help myself but feeling sorry to you. I don't hope for a forgiveness from you but I hope that you can still be friend with me and forget the things that I've done to you that might have hurt you unintentionally. Alright, tears won't stop falling and I think I need some time to calm myself down.

................................

Alright, sorry for being so emotional. Hahahha. Well, to me, you are the kind of person who can actually take responsibility in doing anything but you lack of self-confidence. You are a strong person, Kai Ting. Don't be too scared of taking chances and do not ever ever look down on yourself, cause everyone is special in their own way. And one thing I'm really really worried about you is that, when you start to live in Penang, you'll not know how to get socialised and people will take advantage on you for that. You are always the innocent one when it comes to this. So please, take really really good care of yourself, k? Find your new friends there. Live happily in a brand new environment and be cautious in everything you do, alright? Call me if anything goes wrong or anything that you want to tell me personally. I swear I'll be there for you, no matter what happens. And I'm so sorry that I can't make it tomorrow for the breakfast session and going 1U for you. There are things that I have to do tomorrow and I just can't find the time to meet you up.

Okla, it's getting late now and I'm getting sleepy slowly. Lastly, take good care of yourself and do your best in everything! I'm sure someday we will be able to meet up, along with our good friends, Thomas, Zo Ee, Yen Nee, Li Kuan, Ah Ye and myself. Let's work hard together for our own future! =)

This is a special song that I would like to dedicate to you. There are just so many things that I want to tell you but I just can't find the words. Perhaps this song will sing the words out.

A gift of a friend. You gave me your ears when I needed a listener. You gave me your shoulder when I needed someone. You gave me your time and love when I needed a FRIEND. Thanks for all these gifts. Take good care of yourself. We all will miss you.

Karma, eh?

2011-04-25T21:53:00.003+08:00

I swear I ain't complaining. But something must be DONE to STOP this thing which has made me feel so sick and TIRED!

Just now heard you complaining about how rebellious and naughty your daughter is and you know what? First thing came to my mind was, you asked for it. Do you know the reason why she is NOT afraid of you, but ME? Because I HAVE MY STANDARDS. I have taught her how to become a good child and there you are, spoiling her OVER AND OVER AGAIN by doing what SHE WANTS YOU TO DO. And when I tell you this, you will say things like, "Haiya, just do only la, very easy only mah" ORR "Aiyo, when you were young, you were also like this la, nevermind la". What can I say? SPEECHLESS

Everytime when I tell her she shouldn't do this and that. YOU GUYS WILL JUST PAMPER HER BY TELLING ME NOT TO BE SO HARSH ON HER. What now? I'm being harsh? Did I ask her to RUN 10 LAPS around the house? Did I ask her to clean the house every single minute? Did I EVER ask her to be RUDE TO YOU GUYS? ALL I DID WAS JUST TELLING HER HOW TO BE NICE TO YOU GUYS AND WHAT A CHILD SHOULD DO. And you know what? I am just so tired of teaching her the right things while you spoil her after then. I AM SICK OF IT.

Now you complain. What can I say or do? I am CLUELESS.

Gah.

2011-04-25T17:22:00.002+08:00

You will never change, will you? It's always been like that, ALWAYS.

Get pump-y!

2011-04-22T18:17:00.002+08:00

Alright. Just finished reading half of the NHR and this is the first ever time I have felt so much about my mentor. I used to read this book because I was asked to. But this time, even though I was asked to, again, LOL, but I really really put my heart into reading it. I even read the same line for a few times just to feel it and I eventually felt SOME of it. Really am struggling to understand Sensei's heart and thoughts through this book and it is never easy to do so. I kept on telling myself that I must have the same level as his so that I'll be able to understand him even better. But like I said, it's not easy. But it's not hard, though. I'll just need to read a few more times to feel an even greater feeling towards my mentor! I am such an optimistic person. xD

Then later at night, home v (Part II) is finally beginning! Got Part II somemore. LOL! This is the second time I home v in my Phoenix, so it should be called as Part II. xD! Going to home v the Junior PTCs and some M.I.A Senior PTCs to have a heart-to-heart dialogue session. Cause recently, we are just so dead and I can't afford to see this situation goes on! Wee Leng is going to SUA in August. I gave my words to her that I will do my best in supporting everyone and I can't afford to disappoint everyone, especially her! And luckily and fortunately, I've found myself a few talented future leaders in HSD and I am going to foster them so that when I leave/quit/die in HSD (CHOI! LOL!), I will have someone to inherit the Will of Fire. And this "Will of Fire" actually came from the anime Naruto. LOL! Okay, gotta get myself prepared for tonight's activity! To whoever is reading this, do well in your life and put 200% effort in doing everything! Because if you do so, you will have no regrets in your future. GA YAO! =D

Messing with me is never a good idea.

2011-04-21T23:28:00.004+08:00

Gosh. There are so many things that I MUST do. First of all, a DAILY TIMETABLE is needed! I need to jot down every single thing that should be done in that particular period. Now, I just need to focus on GAKKAI before Form 6 starts! Home v home v and home v! Then need to find my members for Sunrise Group! Then JD got family day! HSD got TONS OF STUFF to do! Then I must get myself into SD as well cause my Honbu's YWDs and YMDs are not really committed into SD. So I MUST influence them by start anticipating in SD! Then need to attend 4D Meet! ARGHH!!!

Sometimes I just wish I was Superman. But I shall tell myself that, NEVERMIND! The more I am committed into Gakkai, the MORE FORTUNE I will get! So, gambarutte yo! I shall be like Naruto, who never EVER give up! OK, Imma stop blogging now and START reading my NHR, 师恩 (Mentor)!

P/S: Gosh, I'm so pumped up now! I hope I can get some sleep tonight. =(

I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as.

2011-04-21T00:22:00.002+08:00

I just started a dialogue with a stranger from Thai! LOL! He added me on Facebook and he came from the same hometown as mine! Betong! Then he told me that he is now very stressed about his studies and I eventually gave him some encouragement. But I guess he didn't really understand cause his english is not that good.

But anyway, just very happy because I finally get to dialogue with someone who's oversea. Well, if I can speak Thai, it would have been better. But it was good enough la I guess? Just hope that he understood what I was trying to say and hope that he can overcome his problems in no time! =D

Want it bad, a LoveGame.

2011-04-20T17:27:00.003+08:00

Tonight I'm not taking no calls cause I'll be dancing! This song surely will be the best song to dance with. Opps, I mean club with. Though I haven't tried. xD

And 2nd May my buddies will come to my house to have a BBQ session! Can't wait for that day! But first of all, I need to find the 'oven' and the 'forks'. Who has them? Cause I really don't want to spend my money buying them. @@

Untitled.

2011-04-20T00:06:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry, but I keep feeling that I'm being used.
And that feeling hurts a lot.

A demon she clings to.

2011-04-19T15:01:00.002+08:00

Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas

Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Gaga
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Gaga

When he comes to me, I am ready
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain
Even after three times, he betrays me

Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah
A king with no crown, king with no crown

I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas

Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Gaga

I couldn't love a man so purely
Even darkness forgave his crooked way
I've learned love is like a brick, you can
Build a house or sink a dead body

Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
Ahh-ah-ah-ahh-ah-ah
A king with no crown, king with no crown

I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas

Ew

In the most Biblical sense
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench
Vomits her mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas kiss me if offensed
Or wear ear condom next time

I wanna love you
But something's pulling me away from you
Jesus is my virtue
And Judas is the demon I cling to
I cling to

Just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a holy fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas
Ohh-oh-ohh-oh
I'm in love with Judas, Judas

Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Juda-a-a
Judas, Gaga

My promise to my Mentor.

2011-04-17T23:36:00.003+08:00

Today was a fairytale. I had the time of my life with all of my Future Leaders. They had been so sporting and active and every move they made just put a smile on my face. Especially my baby, Tan Lloyd. He is so effing cute! And he played my phone until the battery ran out. =.= But thanks to that, he actually didn't feel shy about talking to me, unlike when I first met him in the morning.

Mentor & Disciple Hall. I've been there twice. The first time I went there didn't really feel a thing. Maybe due to the long/wrong journey to there and the heavy rain when I was on my way back home. But today, I told myself the night before that I must feel something today. Feel the atmosphere, feel the bond between my mentor and I, feel the activeness and the innocence of kids. And I eventually felt something. I felt so touched when the narrator told us about Ikeda Sensei's background. He did so many things for us and yet we still don't know how to appreciate all of them. And that really made me thought that we are all so pathetic.

The SGI organization isn't just about going meetings and knowing Nichiren Daishonin's life philosophy. We need to UNDERSTAND and PRACTICE it in our daily lives as well! Peace, culture and education. These 3 are the things that we must know how to cultivate. Sensei has done ENOUGH for all of us. It is the time that we as youths must STAND UP for ourselves and FIGHT side by side with our mentor! Wake up, youth! Sensei has high expectations on us and we must not disappoint him. We MUST do whatever it takes to meet his expectations! This is YOUTH.

The third time I'll be going to Mentor and Disciple Hall again will be on 7th of May with Mable to survey what we can do there for our high school members. This time, I must feel even more of this feeling as high school members are a step higher. They are not as naive as Junior Division. Therefore, I MUST do my best in order to influence not just high school members or Junior Division members, but the people around me! Ga yao, me!

I'm just a holy fool.

2011-04-16T22:42:00.002+08:00

Judas kicks Little Monsters' asses! <3

Urggghh..?

2011-04-15T23:45:00.002+08:00

I'm tired/exhausted/whateverwordsyouhavetodescribeaboutabodyrunningoutofenergy. Can read that? xD

Today went to Mentor & Disciple Hall with my sister and her fellow comrades in Malacca. Went to the frigging wrong/long way! It was actually just straight up but we ended up walking a BIG round circle and it took us more than half an hour to walk just a 10-minute walk. =.= Then when going back that time even WORSE! Heavy rain like crazy! Bought a super expensive + cacat-ed umbrella at 7-eleven which costs RM12.90! PINK COLOUR SOMEMORE! YUCKS! Then walked back home from KJ Station to Thomas's house since my car was there. On the way back to his house, a frigging stupid car SPLASHED THE FRIGGING DIRTY + COLD + DISGUSTING water on ME! Speed speed speed! See people walking won't slow down a bit de hor? =.= Somemore that time storm raining leh! I so scared I'd kena lightning strike. Then what was even more stupid hor, the umbrella kena flipped upside down due to the super strong wind. Then I just covered myself with the frigging small area of the umbrella. So basically, my body was TOTALLY WET! I was thinking I might as well just throw that stupid umbrella away and walk in the rain. But I thought of people may be thinking I might be some crazy fella who just ran out from Tanjung Rambutan. So didn't do it. LOL!

Then reached Thomas's house and bathed, after his mom persuading me to. LOL! I guess I should be listening to Daniel Powter's Bad Day now, since I really really had a bad day. =(

Flowers that you have never seen.

2011-04-15T09:00:00.003+08:00

I found out that dialogue is really really important. Without dialogue, I guess I wouldn't know you guys have to deal with so many things, including some serious illness. Thanks for telling us last night. You just made me know you even better and I can see our bond is starting to built up now.

No matter what we are going to face, we will face it, eventually and naturally. Instead of facing it alone, let's just face it TOGETHER! Gambatte my fellow comrades! I will also do my best in every possible way that I could! So then, like what Seko said, whatever flower you are, rose, tulip, hibiscus, daffodil or whatsoever flower you are, JUST BLOOM ONLY LA! =)

Nananana come on!

2011-04-14T15:10:00.002+08:00

Alright, starting from today, I'll be fully booked! So if you want to date/meet me, please make an appointment next week. xD!

Today evening, going to collect my MANEH a.k.a money. Lol. Then night time having P4 meeting with Mable at Kar Wen's house. Then tomorrow, might be going WK with my sister and her Malacca's housemates. Then at night got Phoenix Meet at RK. Then Sat, got cleaning at Cheras Kinenkan from 3pm till 5pm++. Then Sun, going to Cheras IPA to do Gokuyo and follow my fellow future leaders to WK for exhibitions!

So basically, I'm fully occupied with Gakkai activities! 福运滚滚来~~ xD!! KOSEN-RUFU~ AKU DATANG NI~~ xD

There's always gonna be another mountain.

2011-04-12T23:32:00.002+08:00

Ms Zoe Tang,

Saw your I-Don't-Know post just now and I'm here to give you some suggestions/opinions of mine.

Well, going Form 6 certainly might be a wiser choice as it provides a wide range of choices after taking STPM. You get to go Local-U, which is cheaper compared to Private-U and colleges. Like what you said, you will also be able to discipline yourself and it surely will be a good training for yourself to get prepared for the after-Form-6's student life. It also gives you an extra certificate, unlike going Private-U or colleges where they only give you your certificates once you finish your Diploma and Degree (I think).

But it also has its consequences, of course. You'll live a life which you can never ever imagine how it's going to be like. Homework, school societies, projects, STPM and whole lots of stuff. They'll keep you occupied with so many things in such a short period of time and there will surely be a time when you can't cope up with them at all. But this might be the moment of your life where you can actually train yourself up to have a better time management.

Form 6 is not flawless. Just like human being, it has its disadvantages as well. I guess I need not mention one by one here cause you already know what these disadvantages are. And don't get me wrong, I might sound like trying to convince you to take Form 6, but I am certainly not. The choices are still in your hands. It depends on how you choose it. It's time to make up our minds now, whether Form 6 or colleges or Private-U or whatsoever options you have. It has been almost 5 months since we left school. A great deal of time has just gone by and we just can't let it slip away like that. Take a breather and start thinking what you really want from the bottom of your heart.

Alright. That's all! I'm sure you will be able to come out with a solution! Ga yao, my friend. =)

Another sleepless night (Part II).

2011-04-12T10:01:00.002+08:00

Today woke up at 8.45am. Unusually early. What to do? Need to buy breakfast for my grandparents since they wake up super early everyday. LOL. But it's also good for health la. Like what the Chinese says, sleep early and wake up early, body healthy! xD

Last night I couldn't sleep, again. Been rolling on my bed for almost 2 hours. Went to bed at 1am and I just couldn't sleep. Checked the time and it was almost 3am. Then I was like, gosh, what happened to you, Mr. Jason Siow? JUST SLEEP, MAN! Seriously, before I got to my bed, I was exhausted. By the time I lied on my bed, I felt energetic. Is something wrong with me? Should I seek medical attention? @@

But yea. It's 10 in the morning now and I'm slowly getting sleepy. Guess that I'll off to my bed after finish watching my Naruto and harvesting my crops in FarmVille. Bye!

Great day!

2011-04-12T00:22:00.006+08:00

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else~ Nanananananananana~ xD Love this song. Recently I've found out that there are many songs about being proud of yourself and songs that encourage people to feel great about themselves, like Firework by Katy Perry, The Climb by Miley Cyrus, Born This Way by Lady Gaga and Who Says by Selena Gomez & The Scene. These songs surely had some great impact on people, especially on me and that really shows how powerful music can be. =D

Alright. Just went to have steamboat with my fellow P4 comrades and the food was really good! Well, went there to celebrate Siew Min's sister, Siew Xing's birthday and gosh. She's so young. Only 14 years old! And there I was thinking she might be 16 or something cause seriously, she looked a bit mature. xD. But anyway, yea. Celebrated her birthday with Kok Hoe, Kok Weng and he's so GROWN UP NOW! Form 4 already! I still remember the day back when we were still gym boys and he was sooooooo tiny and cute! But now, voice changed, grew taller, etc etc and I suddenly felt so old =(. I guess I just went too far. Hahahhaa. But anyway, celebrated Siew Xing's birthday with Kok Hoe, Kok Weng, Jun Kee, Sai Mon, Sue Han, Siew Min, Kah Kay and myself! Had a great time and great food with all of them, even though the food mainly was seafood and I lied to them that I can't eat them because I'm allergic to seafood. Well, just lazy to explain everything. xD. And I kept on refilling the ice-cream cause it was free. Well, not free actually, I paid 30 bucks for EVERYTHING and I ate like a hungry lion. xD

After that, fetched Jun Kee back only because Sai Mon's got her boyfriend to fetch her. Reached back home and here I am, after bathing of course. LOL. Alright guys, guess that I spent my day not that meaninglessly, AT LEAST. And here's a group photo of us!

Upper left to right: Kok Hoe, Jun Kee, Me and Kok Weng
Bottom left to right: Sai Mon, Sue Han, Siew Xing, Kah Kay and Siew Min

Alright, I'm off to Naruto now. Cheers! =)

Another sleepless night.

2011-04-11T01:08:00.002+08:00

Damn. I've always been sleeping at this late hour recently. In fact, it's already 1 in the morning and I am still NOT tired yet and I have to wake up at 8 o'clock every single morning to buy breakfast for my grandparents and yet, I am still here. How awesome is that? =.=

But anyway, I'm here to blog because I'm just plainly bored. Just re-watched first 4 episodes of Glee Season 1 because I finally get tired of watching Naruto all the time and in fact, I've even watched until episode 60+ of Naruto Shippuuden. And don't mistaken that. Naruto is DIFFERENT from Naruto Shippuuden. Naruto consists of 220 episodes and I've finished watching that a decade ago. Oh well, just a month ago, actually. And Naruto Shippuuden is about the grown-up Naruto and so far it has about 200+ episodes and the series is still NOT over yet. Great. It means I have to catch up till the latest one before Form 6 starts because seriously, when Form 6 starts, I'd be pumped up and occupied with so many damn things in that short period of time.

Alright. My eyelids finally are getting heavier now. See ya. Only when I have the mood to blog, again. That is. Bye.

Annoyed.

2011-04-10T20:49:00.001+08:00

Can somebody please tell me how to get rid of those annoying spammers in my Chat Box? Seriously, they annoy me till the peak!

As you shoot across the sky.

2011-04-10T00:45:00.003+08:00

I personally love this video very much. It somehow touches my heart deeply. This music video isn't just plainly a music video. Behind this video, there are a lot of stories from the people all over the world who struggle so much in their lives just to achieve their dreams. The concept of this video is really really very inspiring to me and I love it so much.

Somehow, anyhow.

2011-04-07T22:02:00.003+08:00

My best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow.

But how many times will it take?
How many times will it take for me to get it right?

Walk on your wavelength.

2011-04-07T01:40:00.003+08:00

I'm here to suggest you to better believe that I'm not dead, yet. Not until Form 6 starts, that is.

P/S: Naruto kicks asses.

Extraterrestrial.

2011-04-04T18:59:00.003+08:00

You're so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil?
Could you be an angel?
Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating
Leaves my body glowing
They say be afraid
You're not like the other
Futuristic lover
Different DNA
They don't understand you

You're from a whole another world
A different dimension
You opened my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
Infect me with your love and,
Fill me with your poison
Take me, t-t-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

You're so supersonic
Wanna feel your power
Stun me with your laser
Your kiss is cosmic
Every move is magic

You're from a whole another world
A different dimension
You opened my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
Infect me with your love and,
Fill me with your poison
Take me, t-t-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

This is transcendental
On another level
Boy, you're my lucky star
I wanna walk on your wavelength
And be there when you vibrate
For you I'll risk it all
All

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
Infect me with your love and,
Fill me with your poison
Take me, t-t-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrial

Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

In the glass of her boudoir.

2011-04-04T00:38:00.002+08:00

I just created a few new words.

Let horse come here,
I teman till end.

*放马过来，我奉陪到底*

I am so creative hor? xD!

I'm Mother Monster's Little Monster.

2011-04-03T21:47:00.002+08:00

I'm beautiful in my way~ 'Cause God makes no mistakes~ I'm on the right track baby I was born this way!! I am so so so so so IN LOVE with this song. Opps, let me rephrase that. I am OBSESSED with the song until the point that I need to listen to this song AT LEAST a few times and that really show how deep Lady Gaga has OWNED my heart. LOL!!

Alright, ignore the 1st part if you ain't a Little Monster a.k.a Lady Gaga's fan. Well, I am finally here after a one-week M.I.A due to the data entry job. Seriously, I have been working NON-STOP from morning until midnight. But worth it la, I got altogether 1.8k in less than a month. WAKAKAKA! I'm a rich boy now, so don't rob me. =(

Okay, I'm off to watch my Blea-ruto now since I have not been watching them for A WEEK! Can you imagine that? I need to survive a week without my Blea-ruto and I've had enough! I am going to watch till puas-puas tonight! Tatas!

Curse me to hell.

2011-03-29T22:47:00.004+08:00

I actually wanted to post something happy today. I even typed half of them out but I eventually erased them all. Why? Because you just suddenly bang into my room and RUINED my day. Thank you so much.

Current society.

2011-03-28T22:19:00.002+08:00

A world with no prejudice, no judgements, but boundless justice. Is that possible? Nowadays people are being just way too realistic until they could forget what's the purpose of life.

I am very ashamed of you two, sorry to say that. We practice Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. We as the Soka Gakkai members have the big mission to bring peace to the world. Therefore, we've been working so hard for so many events and meetings. But what you guys told me earlier really made me feel so disappointed.

Remember our formal presidents of SGI, Tsunebaro Makiguchi and Josei Toda? They were being thrown to jail because they were against the wrong way of Buddism teaching. They were so strong in terms of faith until they could die in the jail because of not willing to accept the prejudice of Buddism teaching. And next, our current SGI president, Daisaku Ikeda. He was also once thrown into jail because of the exact same thing. That time he went into jail with a smile on his face and he even persuaded the members not to worry about him because there was still faith in this world. Imagine if these 3 presidents were to have the same pathetic thought of yours, do you think we still have the SGI organization? Do you think we still will be able to spread the correct teaching of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism to our surroundings? I don't think so.

You guys kept on telling me that, this is the society, we have no choice but to go with the flow. But you guys were wrong. As a human being, our BIGGEST right is MAKING CHOICES. The choices are made by ourselves, not the choices choose us! If we were born as animals, do you think that we still have the right to make choices? I don't think so.

Yes, society is like that, it's hard to change it. But it is HARD, does it mean we CAN'T do it? There's a big difference between HARD and CAN'T. Bear these words in mind as I mean every single word.

Who says you're not worth it?

2011-03-28T17:30:00.002+08:00

Sigh. Why didn't you tell me earlier when I was needed? You just told me to hang around with you and I thought you just wanted to kill the boredom with someone. Therefore, I didn't find you. Furthermore, I needed to take care of my sis once she reaches back home and fetch my mum for lunch. So sorry.

Stop thinking that you're not important or no one concerns about you. Everyone is important. If we are not, then why were we born in this world in the first place? Seriously, don't ever think that you are always the exception one. When I am needed, just tell me. I'll be there if I'm able to, because lately, my car petrol is not filled yet and I have no money now. So, I won't be able to travel here and there. But anyway, you are still welcomed to come to my house and talk to me about your problems because I like being your listener. So please, don't be so pessimistic, alright?

Be strong. Not just physically and mentally, but also in terms of faith. Your mum needs you now. Try to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her whenever you have time, alright? I'm sure things will change. =)

Lalalalala.

2011-03-28T02:48:00.004+08:00

Yeap. It's the new layout, again. Seriously, it's already 3 in the morning now and I spent more than an hour for this latest layout. I've tried so many just now but ended up this might be the best. So just screw the previous ones. xD

Time will heal all hearts.

2011-03-27T22:44:00.001+08:00

Yes, it's the new layout, again. Better? xD

Give yourself prudence and love your friends.

2011-03-27T21:59:00.004+08:00

I'm here to say, I have the most kick-ass best friends ever! Thank you so much for your encouragements and concern about my studies, LIEW TONG SENG AND TANG ZO EE! Love die you two. xD

Entrusting a dream.

2011-03-27T14:02:00.008+08:00

Gosh. How long have I not been blogging? 3 days? 5 days? LOL! I promised myself that I will blog every single day since I started blogging but mana tau it ended up... xD! Well, at first I really did so. But when the days drag on, sorry my readers, I no longer have the mood to do so. xD But anyway, I'm here today because.. I'm in the mood, as simple as that. LOL! Today went to course counselling in PJ Centre and it somehow lights the light bulb in me. What am I gonna do after finishing Form 6? What career am I interested in? What path am I gonna choose when the time comes? There were so many questions running through my head at that very moment and I was confused, naturally. But then, after hearing all the courses and experiences and all that stuff, a tiny little part within my heart, somehow thinks that going SUJ or SUA would be the thing that I've wanted all this while. I don't know why I was thinking that because seriously, I NEVER thought of going overseas to further my studies. Firstly it's because of its super duper expensive COST! Secondly it's because I'm afraid of being alone. Without family's support, whether in financial or mentally, or just make it simple, IN EVERY SINGLE WAY, I just don't find the courage to do so. I might need to survive on my own if I were to go overseas. But anyhow, this tiny thought of mine is still being kept in my mind and I really hope that I will be able to go, even though I'm not well prepared YET. Because as a Soka Gakkai member, I think I have the mission to prove that our philosophy of Nichiren Daishonin's teachings will be the most correct way of Buddhism. And in order to achieve that, I somehow think that the only solution is to further my studies in either SUJ or SUA so that I will be able to know even MORE about our SGI organization. Besides that, I have already made up my mind to go to Form 6, as I mentioned earlier. After attending today's course counselling, I eventually set up my goals. I made a vow to myself that NO MATTER HOW, I must must must get 4.0 in my STPM. Yes, I put my target to the highest point and in order to achieve that, I will put 200% in studying my Form 6! Because if I achieve that, I will be able to further my studies in SUJ or SUA without worrying about the cost as I will be able to get full scholarship. So then, JASON SIOW SHI YUAN! GAMBATEH!!!!!

I got through this.

2011-03-24T13:40:00.002+08:00

Hello people. I'm actually not in the mood of blogging now, since my Naruto Shippuuden is still waiting for me. But anyhow, I just need to tell my friends who really really care about me that, I am now okay.

Life is filled with sorrows and despair and sometimes we get too upset about it and that we forget that there are people out there who encounter an even worse scenario than ours. Who are we to be tumbling down when those people out there are trying so hard just to survive? Who are we to judge that we are the saddest human being in the whole wide world when there are people out there who can't even have a proper meal?

Therefore, my friend. I've learned my lesson well. Sometimes people may be hard on you, but these are the people who actually make you stronger inside.

Thanks Mum. You are the reason why I'm writing this. You're irreplaceable and I love you so much.

The song that sings my heart out.

2011-03-23T16:24:00.002+08:00

What have I done?
I wish I could run
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?
To get it right

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

So I throw up my fists
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish and I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see how much I care

What can I do when my good isn't good enough?
And all that I touch tumbles down
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Ohh, how many times will it take to get it right?
To get it right

- Get It Right,
Lea Michele

I wish I could run.

2011-03-23T16:11:00.003+08:00

All I wanted to hear from you was, "I know you did your best, it's okay!" or "I am proud of you!". But, I guess my expectation from you was a little too high. Sometimes I just want you to be just like Dad. What he said was only "I'm satisfied with your performance" with a smiling face and that really made me feel so happy and belonged. But instead, all I heard from you was comparison between me and my friends. I am so upset about this.

A little comparison makes us keep on improving ourselves, I know that. But everytime I just couldn't be as good as what my friend is. Maybe I didn't really put much effort in it. Maybe I didn't care much. But I really did my best, isn't that good enough? I'm sorry but this is the best I could give. Sorry if I didn't meet your expectation.

I am just so tired of this now. Don't even feel like talking about it. It eventually deepens the wound in my heart.

Keep on dancing till the world ends.

2011-03-22T23:04:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updating, I was just so lazy as my current life revolves around Naruto a little too much. Naruto. Hmm. It's actually not bad and I'm done watching Naruto. Just started the 1st episode of Naruto Shippuuden, which talks about the grown up Naruto. But anyway, it's just awesome. =)

I'll be getting my SPM result in 12 hours' time. I'm starting to get a little nervous now, surprisingly and suddenly. I thought I won't be feeling a thing about it but it eventually turns out this way. Does this mean I'm not prepared? @@

Sherry Vine the Entertainer.

2011-03-19T17:59:00.004+08:00

I was searching for some videos in YouTube and I came across these parody videos of Lady Gaga from Sherry Vine:

Shit My Pants a.k.a Bad Romance

Make Me Moan a.k.a Telephone

You're A Homo a.k.a Alejandro

More This Way a.k.a Born This Way

Last but not least, one from Katy Perry,

Firecrotch a.k.a Firework

(I LOL-ed the most in this)

These videos surely made your day, didn't they? ;)

Rejoice and love yourself today.

2011-03-18T13:25:00.003+08:00

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

Whether you're broke or evergreen

You're black, white, beige, chola descent

You're Lebanese, you're orient

Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased

Rejoice and love yourself today

'Cause baby, you were born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi

Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby

I was born to survive

No matter black, white or beige

Chola or orient made

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born to be brave

I like the lyrics of this song! So meaningful! =D

Treasure tower.

2011-03-16T23:54:00.003+08:00

Seko Ong's experience sharing was epic! There were a lot of lines that seriously and really touched my heart deeply! She sure is a great speaker!

What else is there for you to expect when you yourself are already the treasure tower? Yes, we are all Buddhas, we ARE all a treasure tower to ourselves. So we shall chant with no doubts and chant with determination! There is nothing to be feared cause we are FEARLESS! =D

Ooh, there ain't no other way.

2011-03-16T18:45:00.002+08:00

I've been watching this for billions of times and yet, I still don't get bored of it. Mother Monster sure had all of her Little Monsters' hearts! =D

Movies movies movies~

2011-03-16T17:15:00.003+08:00

Tonight's experience sharing is going to be GREAT-O! I have been longing to hear sharing from Seko Ong and tonight is finally the night! And it somehow makes me think of Black Eyed Peas's I Gotta Feeling. xD

And after tonight, I will be filled with so much passion in doing everything! And I will surely find my hengdais to watch some movies cause seriously, the last movie that I watched was.. Rapunzel? And that was freaking long ago! I swear I ain't gonna miss ANY movies again! xD

Money money money~

2011-03-14T22:51:00.003+08:00

FINALLY finished the 200 sets of data entry! It takes a WEEK for you to do so. But it also means it only takes a week for you to earn RM1000, which is DAMN a lot! xD

After getting that 1k, I promise myself that I won't spend it elsewhere except my car petrol and my form 6 expenses! MUST SAVE MORE MONEY NOW!!!

Aren't you?

2011-03-14T22:22:00.004+08:00

When I do something wrong, I will admit it. Even if I don't, I won't deny it. I'll apply my courage in facing the problems instead. That's how I live my life now.

Can we stop fighting now? I just want to talk, not scream/yell with vulgar language, just a simple conversation. Cause now I'm just so tired of this repeating drama. Like real tired.

Heal the world, make it a better place.

2011-03-14T17:13:00.005+08:00

I didn't expect it would turn out this way. Fighting, again. And I'm getting tired of it. Can we talk? Like the heart-to-heart talk. I don't want both of us to fight again. You and I are annoyed, aren't we?

Yes, there's nothing we can do about it if it is fated. But do you realise we just simply put the blame on fate? I was born to be lazy, this is fate. I was born to be poor and there's nothing I can do about it, so I should just sit there and wait for the money to fall from trees. Is that what you mean?

Recently, me and my friends + hundreds of people are promoting an exhibition which is related to our enviroment. If this is useless, then why are we still doing it? Why do we still need to go for so many trainings as an Exhibition Guide? Are we all stupid? And yes, I don't think it's too late. It's never too late for you to do anything if you put your effort and heart into it because as you said, we are not even sure when is the end of the world. It might be 100 years later, 1000 centuries later or maybe it would never happen. As long as we live, why not start making the earth a greener planet, right here right now?

I did not say that the end of the world is coming, therefore we shall save the earth. No. That's not what I meant. What I'm trying to say is, an action does matter. And as an Exhibition Guide, I will do my best in convincing as many people as I could to start saving our mother earth cause it's never too late for us to do so. But anyway, this Exhibition is titled Seed of Hope. It falls in the mid of April, at Wisma Kebudayaan, Bukit Bintang. Anyone who sees this, please come and 'bong chan' me~ xD

Anyway, as I said in the previous post. This is just my own personal opinion. I don't mean to be offensive. Take it or leave it.

It means Love Needs Faith.

2011-03-13T19:56:00.001+08:00

I LOVE MY LIFE

I LOVE THIS RECORD AND,

MI AMORE VOLE FE YAH!

Action matters.

2011-03-13T15:41:00.004+08:00

I really don't feel like blogging now because there are still 60+ sets of data I gotta key-in into the soft copy and it's some kind of job that you do at home. But yeah, I don't feel like blogging but there is something that I must voice out before it's too late for people to realise what is actually going on.

The tsunami and earthquake has hit Japan 2 days ago. I believe that everyone knows that. And because of this issue, people start to create/talk about the omen that the end of the world will be here soon in 2012. And because of this, many people said that those are craps and even if it really happens, there is NOTHING we can do about it. I strongly disagree about this.

When we say the word 'nothing', it really means nothing. Remember why the earth used to be so green? Remember the time when our mother earth was being polluted like it was no place for us to live? The world has too many people who are selfish. Taking as many plastic bags as you want, tossing garbage everywhere and so on. They never thought one day like today will actually arrive and it did arrive today.

So what now? We can't just sit still and do nothing about it, can we? Therefore, START doing something NOW for the sake of the future, people! Stop polluting our mother earth! Start bringing recycle bag whenever you go for a shopping. Stop wasting water. Try using public transport if you can. There are sooooo many things that we can actually do to recover our mother earth from illness. So why are we still not doing a thing?

Disasters like what had happened lately in Japan, we can't avoid, that's true. But that doesn't mean we can't do anything about it. If everyone starts to take an action now, the world will surely become a better place for us human beings to live in. Anyway, this post is just my own personal opinion, no offence to anyone.

Don't be a drag, just be a queen.

2011-03-11T22:58:00.004+08:00

Below is my current desktop wallpaper:

Yes, it's LADY GAGA,
with her new single's cover,
BORN THIS WAY!

This song is stuck in my head ALL THE TIME. And people say that she copied Madonna cause the song sounds a lot like Express Yourself. But blah. Madonna is definitely surpassed by Lady Gaga a DECADE ago. Madonna? OLD SCHOOL! xD

By the way, Lady Gaga somehow looks like a horse to me in this cover. Surprisingly. LOL!

RED.

2011-03-11T21:32:00.002+08:00

I got bored with the previous layout of my blog and it turned out like THIS.

It's very reddish. I know. =P

To whom it may concern.

2011-03-08T01:21:00.005+08:00

You are always like that. You say your words without thinking they might have hurt the people around you. That's the reason why we are all now starting to ignore you.

When we tell you about this bad attitude of yours, you will go on with words like, "I'm always like that and I can't be changed", with your super duper irritating emotion. Always this line. I say, ALWAYS. And guess what? We are all now getting so sick of this until we could bear with this line over and over again.

And next, I did not say that I wanted that job. It was YOU who promised that Aunty. And there you were, scolding me for not willing to attend the interview and wasting that Aunty's effort of calling here and there. Hello. Did I say I wanted that job? When I came back from my job at Dragon-i, you just simply told me about this job and you asked me to go for the interview. So then, I told you that I'm NOT interested and you insisted and then promised that Aunty for me. Now what? Putting all the blame on me? Everything started because of no one else, but YOU. YOU were the one who called her. YOU were the one who insisted me to get that job. YOU were the one who decided EVERYTHING. Yes, just you.

You asked me to get that job and work until the end of this year. And I told you, I don't need to go for Form 6 is it? Then you asked me to work and study at the same time. Then I told you I can't bear with it and you said first year of Form 6 is like honeymoon, according to what my cousin sis told you. Now what? You expect me to work on weekends when I start my Form 6? I don't need to go for Junior Group is it? I study study and study on weekdays and then work on weekends is it? I am superman, won't get tired wan is it? I OCCUPY MYSELF WITH EVERYTHING NOT JUST IN MY SCHOOL LIFE BUT ALSO GAKKAI AND YOU STILL INSIST ME TO GET THAT JOB AND WORK FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR IS IT?!?!?!?! HUH!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I AM F*CKING MAD NOW!

You are always like that. Listening to everyone's opinions and making everyone to OBEY this kind of pathetic thought of yours. That's the main reason why you and Dad are always fighting, over and over again. And let me tell you. Dad is getting so sick of this and he just pretends that he is deaf and continues to ignore you.

You know what? Your words don't only hurt me, but also your other family members. That's how EFFECTIVE your words are. Awesome, right?

Would you hold it against me?

2011-03-07T23:20:00.004+08:00

Well, my lack of updating just simply suggests that my life has been just like.. that. LOL! A 24/7 driver on weekdays and a waiter on weekends. That's my current duty/job.

And rumour says that SPM result will be out on 10th of March, which means it's this Thursday and surprisingly, I am not excited, neither sad. It's just like "Oh, SPM result is on this Thursday fullstop". Seriously, I just don't get so pumped up when it comes to this.

But anyway, am updating today is just to let you guys know that I'm not dead, yet. Maybe I'll be after SPM result is out. Dead, that is. LOL!

I am so freaking lazy to update now. Okay. Bye guys.

Wishful thinking.

2011-03-03T14:56:00.003+08:00

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile

So good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

But if we love again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This song somehow reminds me of you.

Same DNA, but born this way.

2011-03-01T21:48:00.003+08:00

Lady Gaga had once again made all of us GOOSE BUMPED! The Alejandro video is already creepy enough. Then this.. It's just way too much and I don't really like it. =( But anyway, the choreography is awesome and so is her skull-makeup!

Credits to my love ones.

2011-02-28T12:00:00.006+08:00

Alright guys, here goes the things that I wanted to say last night.

To be honest, I never expected a surprise party like that. I predicted you guys were coming but when the clock struck 11, I was kinda disappointed cause I thought you guys were really not coming and therefore, I already had no hope that you guys were coming. But then, when you guys appeared, I had a strange feeling. It was not happy, neither surprise. The feeling was just so indescribable. It was like you were looking for a rain in a drought and the rain finally came. It was that kind of feeling to me and I was really really touched by what you guys have done to me not just last night, but the whole 5 years that we have been through together.

As I said, a friend is easy to find, but a friend who knows your heart and understands you is NEVER easy to be found and I am feeling so lucky and so glad that I have found myself not only one, but a BUNCH of good friends revolving around my life. Last night, I was really really happy that you guys had such an intention of celebrating with me but at the same time, I was also thinking that I may have failed you guys as the good friends of mine. The reason why I'm saying this is because I never should have judged that you guys were a disappointment by thinking that you guys were not coming and therefore, I hereby apologise for thinking that and I truly hope that you guys don't mind that. But anyway, making me to feel disappointed was also one of you guys' intentions, right? xD! And the presents are just so lovely. I had a hard time to carry out all the presents from my car to my room cause there were just too many and too big in size and my staircase is not that big. LOL! But anyway, thank you for the presents! They made my day!

It's been 5 years, some 3 or 4 years. But never mind that. 5 years, in this not so long and not so short 5 years, tons of things happened between us. Even though part of the things that happened was a so-called tragedy, but I'm sure that there are still things that we enjoyed and cherish all the time. The time when we celebrated each other's birthday, the time when we went Sunway Lagoon, the time when we still dunggu dunggu/nerdy, they were really really a precious time and I'm sure this moment of our lives has left a mark in all of our memories. But at the same time, we must also acknowledge that high school is now finally over, which also means it's the day for us to be separated has also finally come. But don't mistaken that. We may be separated in many different directions like different colleges, different environment, but the bond between us will NEVER EVER be separated because it's just there and this is the thing that always puts a smile on my face whenever I think about it. Therefore, I thank you for appearing in my life and making me a better person today. Without you guys, there is no possibility that my life will be filled with so many great things!

Next, I feel kinda sorry to Jun Mun for leaving him behind yesterday. What can I say? Hmm.. I don't know why, but you are the kind of person that makes me feel secured when I'm with you. Maybe it's because of your humorous personality. You are always acting tough in front of us and as a result of that, many of us don't see what's truly inside you. I, for now, even though I've known you for about 5 years, I still can't call myself as a good friend of yours because I don't really know what kind of person you truly are and I am feeling so ashamed of that. Sometimes I just want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with you but I hesitate all the time. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that the true you is not what I always expect out of you and I just don't find the courage to find it out. When we were at Penang, I wanted to make our bond stronger by not just joking around, but having a conversation which will make me totally know who you really and truly are but I did not due to our lack of understanding towards each other. Therefore, this is an apology from me for leaving you behind all the time and I hope you had a great night with us last night. Thank you for everything you have done especially in P2. You have made me come to a realisation that you are different now from what you were last time. Thank you so much for trying so hard to make P2 as an active Phoenix! At the same time, I promise I will also do my best in pushing P4 into the front line and I will bring what I've learned in P2 to my new environment! Thanks a lot!

And now, Carolynn. First of all, I was shocked that you added me in Facebook again. I hesitated whether to accept you or not because I just don't want both of us to be hurt again and again. What you said is right, we have been so busy being angry at each other and that we just don't find a chance to talk to each other about that issue. Now, we are no longer in high school, which also means we have already moved on a step closer to the society. Therefore, we shall not be that childish and naive anymore by being angry at each other like kids. I now apologise for every word or every move that I've made that might have hurt you and same as you, I hope you can forgive me from all of it. Thanks for being such a great person to me and tell you a little secret. Sometimes you are the kind of person that I would look up to even though I hated you. But now, everything is finally over now and I hope that we will still be good friends no matter what happens next. Thank you for what you have done! Ohya! And that Katy Perry album is just so awesome. Even though it's not Gaga's, but yeah. Katy Perry is good enough. Thank you! =D

Next, my jimui/hengdai, ZO EE & THOMAS! First of all, the post is not suck at all. It actually touched my heart deeply. Even though the video quality is not that good, but what matters is the heart that you put into it! It's the HEART that counts! Therefore, thank you for putting so much effort and time in creating that post and I love it sooooooo much! You and Thomas are always the person that I can always talk to and we have been through so much not just in school, but as well as in Gakkai. People don't see the 3 of us as just friends, but BEST friends because we have shown a great bond between us to the people around us. Even though sometimes we may quarrel with each other, but that is what makes us closer. Together, we shall continue to strive even harder not just in our colleges or universities, what's most important is we must contribute as much as we can to our Gakkai. Like what Sensei said, this is the time where the youth blooms into a flower that brings hope and joy to the world! Therefore, let's continue working harder and harder for kosen-rufu! =D

For the rest, I'm so sorry that I can no longer update about each of you one by one. But let me remind you, you guys are the best among the best friends in the world! All that I can say is thank you for accompanying me in this 5 years and I am so sorry if I ever have hurt you unintentionally or indirectly! Thank you for the awesome surprise party. I was delighted with the surprise, the presents, the people and everything!

Lastly, I hope that all of us will achieve a good result in SPM and for that, let's work hard together for our own future! We shall meet up again somewhere, someday and I'm longing for the arrival of that day!

THANK YOU.

Best day, ever.

2011-02-28T03:10:00.002+08:00

WAHLIAO! Never expected that there were so many wishes on Facebook! Yes, I am showing off. xD!! And I can't believe that I actually had the mood to reply each of them ONE BY ONE! =.=

And guys, I actually wanted to post everything about tonight, opps.. I mean last night when you guys celebrated for me de. But as you can see, it's late at night now, in fact, it's a freaking 3.14a.m now and I'm exhausted! Will update tomorrow, k? Be patient~ xD

I'm a rocketeer, let's fly.

2011-02-27T10:13:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I'm off to work now.

See ya tonight!

A refreshment.

2011-02-24T23:35:00.001+08:00

How's my new layout? ;)

I'll take your words and be gone.

2011-02-23T23:53:00.003+08:00

What have I done? Why must you guys always tease me? Do you know it's extremely hurtful? I don't show my tears in front of you but do you know inside I'm crying? Nobody seems to see the other side of me and I'm so tired of wearing the faces that you guys always expect out of me all the time.

You don't have a word of asking me how I'm feeling, that's fine to me. But what's worse is that you even put knives in your words. I don't expect you to give all your attention to me. What I really NEED are the words that will make me feel SECURED. Unfortunately, currently I don't feel a thing at all but just whole lot of words with knives.

Yes, I know. I've been a useless person all this while staying at home, doing nothing but watching movies, going online, so on so forth. I wanted to work on weekdays but I did not. Did you guys ever ask me why? If I were to work on weekdays, who will be the one fetching mum and sis? I wanted to get my car license so badly a couple of months ago. Did anyone of you ever ask me why? It's because I don't want to see you being so occupied with everything! You guys wanted me to study Form 6 which I really really didn't want to. Fine. I did not argue A SINGLE WORD about it and I pretended I'm fine with it. Yes, I know. The family's finance doesn't allow me to study in colleges or private universities. I know that I have to understand this and I did not complain a thing about this to you guys by fighting with you guys over this matter because I know this will make your burdens ever heavier. I know. I know. I KNOW. But did you guys ever ask me what I truly and really wanted all this while? Is Form 6 really what I want if I don't show what I've wanted all this while to you guys? Really?

Of course, I might be a little lazy at home. Don't do a single house chores. Setting my ass in front of the computer all the time. I know. But does that mean I am not doing a thing? I sometimes even wake up early in the morning just to fetch sis to go to school. But you always say you'll fetch her. What can I do? Today, you guys asked me to clean the floor and I'm sorry. I did not do it nicely cause I did not put my heart into it. Just one time, you guys already blamed it on me and judged that I ALWAYS am like this. Did you guys ask me why I wasn't in the mood of doing it? Nobody ever asked me and there you were, judging me as that kind of person.

Yeah. I'm always like that. I always think that I'm right. I'm bossy. But nobody has ever noticed I have slowly changed. I should automatically do the house chores without being asked to do so. I know. Sometimes I do but sometimes I don't and I will slowly improve myself and I sincerely apologise for today. I just didn't find the mood to do these things today. But let me remind you. I am NOT always like that. I might be lazy but I am NOT the kind of person who leaves everything behind to you guys.

What I really want is not all of your attention. I just want the words that will make me feel belonged and secured, instead of words which are extremely hurtful. Take time to realise what's good in me, instead of seeing all the negatives side hiding within myself and you will discover that I am not the kind of person who you think I am all this while. And I'm sorry if my words ever hurt any of you. I have no intention in any of that. These are just the words that truly make me feel what you guys are like to me.

This is my now.

2011-02-23T15:47:00.003+08:00

I am so grateful to be here. Thanks to my comrades for celebrating my birthday last night at Fook Hong's house / Shee Yan's garden. xD

Last night, I actually had a lot of stuff to tell you guys but my mind was blank due to some issues + it was late at night and everyone was rushing back home. Perhaps I'll share what I've learned all this while when I was with you guys someday.

Someday, yeah. We'll never know what happens next. We'll never know what the future is like. Therefore we shall cherish this moment right here, right now when we still get to do so. This is the most precious thing that you guys have taught me. Even though I'm now in a different Phoenix, but still, every little part from you guys is still within my memory and I'm sure, that will be the sweetest memory of all. Thanks for spending your time with me for the whole 5 years, especially when you guys are needed.

You guys are not just any comrades, but a part of my family. And family members are irreplaceable. Thank you for all you've done. =)

No pain, inside.

2011-02-20T22:36:00.002+08:00

I am sick of living in a screaming and yelling environment. I've had enough. Sometimes I just feel like being a deaf person. Need not listen to your words which really and seriously hurt my feelings. I am now done. I will not fight back anymore. I will just listen to my heart whenever you're screaming at me with your words like knives. I will not be hurt like what I'm used to be. I must be stronger, than anyone else. Please forgive me if I ever ignore you, because this is what I have to do in order to secure and protect myself from being hurt.

It's all finally over now.

I'm on the right track.

2011-02-17T15:11:00.006+08:00

It doesn't matter if you love him
Or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We're all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"
She said, "'Cause it made you perfect, babe"
So hold your head up, girl and you'll go far
Listen to me when I say

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooh, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be

Give yourself prudence and love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth
A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M
I love my life, I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooh, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooh, there ain't no other way
Baby, I was born this way
Right track, baby
I was born this way

I was born this way, hey
I was born this way, hey
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey
I was born this way, hey
I was born this way, hey
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, hey

And at last I see the light.

2011-02-16T17:12:00.003+08:00

I can't believe that I actually cleaned my room. For the first time, that is. LOL! And it now looks so tidy and clean and fresh and nice~ xD!

And I am surely looking forward to this Saturday and Sunday's outing to Kuala Selangor with my SD comrades! Paintball! Team building! Steamboat! Fireflies! And it all just costs RM100, which is super duper worth it! But at the same time, I also sacrificed my so-hardly-earned RM100 and it makes me sad. But luckily, I still have some money left in my wallet cause my dad helped me to refill my car petrol! Woohoo! xD

Next, it's about my friends coming my house to visit. My HSD comrades, when are you guys coming my leng leng new house jek? And my Cool Gang-siii, when can we one family come my house visit jek? I wait until my neck become so long already you know? xD

Hahahhaa. Today I'm all worn out. Been cleaning my room for hours and I haven't had my shower yet, awesome. LOL! Guess that's all ba. I'm off to shower now!

BYE! =D

Everyone's a firework.

2011-02-11T16:57:00.004+08:00

Baby you're a firework

Come on show them what you're worth

Make them go "oh oh oh"

As you shoot across the sky

Baby you're a firework

Come on let your colours burst

Make them go "oh oh oh"

You're gonna leave them falling down

Boom boom boom

Even brighter than the moon

It's always been inside of you

And now it's time to let it boom

This song always cheers me up whenever I'm down. Thanks to Katy Perry for making such a great and meaningful song! =D

True facts.

2011-02-10T18:13:00.004+08:00

Firstly, I really feel very sorry for making you feeling like this, seriously. I know I have been rejecting your offers for a thousand times and now you're speechless about this and I can't help but feeling sorry to you.

I.. I'm different from you. You're grown up. You're allowed to go anywhere you like and spend your money anytime you want, but I can't. Today you asked me out and once again, I disappointed you. I am sorry. Sometimes I just want you to understand, that not every single one is as lucky as you. I have to fetch my sister back from school every weekday at 12pm+ and I have to work every weekends. So I told you I will be only free in the weekdays' evenings. And you replied, "Morning and afternoon only got student price, evening you go sing yourself la. ==". You said you already have no mood in asking me out again cause every single time I disappoint you. But do you know that you were disappointing me as well? By saying those words to me?

As I said, I'm unlike you. My family's finance just won't allow me to do anything I want. Do you think I don't want to spend money like nobody's business? Do you think that I don't want to everyday go hang out with friends? I WANT, too. But I don't have a choice, do I? Recently I have been working for 2 days and I got RM108 as the salary. You know how I finished it? Refilling my car petrol for 2 times. Just 2 times, RM108 is gone. Do you know how precious money is to me? Yesterday I went hang out with friends. When I wanted to buy my lunch to eat, I even hesitated. I lied to them that I have eaten but actually I haven't. Why? I was so hungry until I could swallow 3 plates of rice after reaching back home. Why? Why do I need to be so pathetic? Is this all I want? Really?

Secondly, my time is really all packed up. I wanted to find all my old buddies to hang out but I just had NO time. As I said, I will be only free in the evening in weekdays. So today, luckily, I had some time to hang out with my bestie. Do you know how BADLY I want to leave the house and do whatever I want?

I am not complaining about everything. I just want you to know what condition I am currently in now. I am not blaming you as well. I understand your feeling. Got rejected by me for don't know how billions of times and once again, I apologise. Maybe someday, when I get my salary then I will spend my time with you, k? This is the promise from me.

You, with your words like knives.

2011-02-08T14:28:00.003+08:00

我行得正，企得正，唔需要做埋D小人做嘅事。唔似得你甘幼稚。=)

Shame on you.

2011-02-07T23:54:00.002+08:00

You're a disgrace. I wonder where does your pride go. Did you accidentally swallow it? Or you just simply threw it into a garbage bin?

One sentence for you, I pity you.

Sleepless night.

2011-02-07T11:53:00.003+08:00

I couldn't sleep last night. Thanks to the white coffee. =.=

Been rolling on the bed at around 3am for 2 hours after watching Naruto. Soon after, my mom woke me up at 6.30am to fetch my sis to school. So basically, I only slept for about 1 and a half hour. I am so proud of myself. Lol.

If I were to work today, I guess I would pass out in the middle of work. After being told by my dad that I didn't need to fetch my sis cause he was going to fetch her, I had my breakfast with my mom at 7am. After that, went back home and slept from 8am till 11am. Only 3 hours though.

And tonight I am just so excited! My dad is bringing us to Puchong to eat Shabu Shabu! Excited not because of getting to eat Shabu Shabu, it's because it's been a while since I had Shabu Shabu with my family and I surely won't miss the golden chance of sharing moment with my family during the Shabu Shabu session! =D

Anyway, it's just a short update. I'm off to shower now and I will need to fetch my sis back from school right after that. I guess this is what happens when you have your car license, eh? 24/7 driver. LOL. Okay guys. Goodbye!

Blea-ruto.

2011-02-07T01:58:00.004+08:00

Now it's 2 in the morning and here I am, still. How awesome is that. Lol.

Recently been watching Naruto NONSTOP cause it's just beyond awesome. I'm slowly thinking that Naruto is better than Bleach. But I must be fair to Bleach also. Like the title of this post suggests, it's Blea-ruto (Bleach + Naruto). So I would say that both are still the best animes ever! xD

Anyway, this is just a short update. I am off to Naruto now. See ya when I have the mood to blog again. Byeee~ =D

Cherish.

2011-02-05T23:40:00.002+08:00

Hello people. I'm back from hometown! Usually I would feel damn happy because I finally get to use my internet and online. But this year, this feeling of mine is replaced by sadness and sorrow.

People change when the time has come. I guess this statement is correct, eh? Even though it was damn boring during Chinese New Year, in fact, I even slept the whole day for Chinese New Year Day 1. But the moment of it is surely irreplaceable. Every laughter that I shared with my cousins and relatives, every moment was just so precious. And of course, I will surely miss my grandma. She's 80+ this year. I don't even know whether will I be able to celebrate the next Chinese New Year with her or not..

Haizz.. Jangan fikir bukan-bukan la. Afterall, appreciation is what we need. Appreciate every single moment when you're with your family, especially the old ones. Or else you will regret because when you want to do so, it's already too late cause your love ones are already gone..

Back in mood.

2011-02-01T22:46:00.002+08:00

I can feel that this is going to be super long. So to my dear fellow fans, get your eyes and mind prepared as you will be entering the life of the M.I.A (Missing in Action) me.

Well, where have I been in the past 1 month actually? I.. was here all the time, actually. LOL. It was just that my internet had some problem and I didn't go and fix it cause I'll be moving house and now here I am, in the new house which located in Subang Bestari, online-ing now and updating everything now.

Things changed in this one month. I changed my job. I shifted house. I lost contact with some of my friends. I had new comrades. Lots of lots of things happened in this one short month. I don't know why but I kind of miss the year 2010. Maybe there are still things that I wish them to be done by last year but regrets will not do any good, eh? Alright, I won't be talking about the sad cases here and now after I've been M.I.A for one month. xD

Currently now I'm working in Dragon-i at 1 Utama. If you ain't the person who can walk/run around for 10 hours, if you ain't the person who can tahan unreasonable/bitchy customers, if you ain't the person who can carry super heavy plates on just one single small tray, my advice to you is, DON'T WORK AT THERE. And this is no joke. You know why? For the first day I started working there, I was busy ALL THE TIME. Wiped the tables, refilled tea, set the plates, carried heavy plates and so on. The work was like just can't be done. And the worst part is, I had my super expensive leather shoes WET! The kitchen was so slippery and full of water like it was a mini flood. Somemore got one captain I really really beh song her. Kept on asking me go into the kitchen and take the plates. Dai lou.. You want to take you cannot take meh? Asked me go inside the super wet kitchen for don't know how many times. Zzzzz. You asked me go 2 or 3 times nevermind la. But you hor, asked me go in and out, in and out, in and out over and over again. I guess she just doesn't want her shoes to get wet. =.=

But of course, there are certainly good things about working at there. Firstly, you need not worry about your 3 meals cause IT'S PROVIDED! =D Secondly, all the supervisors + captains are very friendly there. I worked for 2 days only and I totally can mix around with them. =D. Thirdly, if you accidentally break any plates/fork/spoon, you don't have to pay for it, unlike some other restaurants where you have to bayar ganti rugi. LOL! Fourthly, you get to train your muscles especially your biceps and triceps cause you're going to carry a tray filled with whole lots of heavy plates on your arm. LOL!

Anyway, I think that's all for my job since I have only worked for 2 days. Will continue working on the next Monday. Next, it will be about my NEW house. If you guys ever noticed, I posted a post about my new house last year back in July/August. Shifted here for almost a week and everything is perfectly fine. It's just that the rooms are not tidied up yet, except mine, of course. LOL! My room is super duper leng with a holy snowflake plus some holy trees reaching to the snowflake. LOL! I guess one day when I get bored of it, I will re-paint it with my favourite colour, RED! Ohya, and open house will most probably be after Chinese New Year since some of the things are not settled up yet. And now, everytime when I want to drink water or get something eat, I will need to go all the way from 3rd floor down to the ground floor and it's tiring. LOL! But nevermind la, as long as I can train my leg muscles. =D

Ahhhh. I am getting so lazy to update now. Guess that's all ba. See ya!

Thank you.

2011-01-01T18:07:00.006+08:00

Last night was memorable. 31st of Dec 2010. Last day of the year 2010 which also means, last day of hanging out with you guys.. While I was with you guys, I.. well, eventually felt like crying. So emotional. LOL!

Well, I have been with you guys for 4 years. To be exact, it's actually 5 years. But the first year I wasn't assigned as a HSD PTC. So the first year I wasn't that close with you guys yet. Soon enough, we did a lot of things together and the memory of it is irreplaceable.

Watching us laughing last night, playing, joking, eating and sharing moment with each other, I only realised that I have actually assumed that you guys are a part of my family. And last night, was really the last night for me to spend my time together with you guys already. Well, assuming that it was cause I am moving to other place.

Last night while we were at the park, a lot of things came across my mind. With everything that we've done together, every laughter that we shared, every little tear that we cried together, it was all so precious to me. We have all grown up together and we support each other while we are in need of encouragements. Tons of things happened which I can't really describe them in words. It was all just so pure and wonderful.

And of course, the feeling of mine will be cherished all the time and I will surely bring what I've learned in here to the place where I'll be staying this year, 2011. Thanks for accompanying me and making me realise that what mission that I am supposed to accomplish throughout the years when I spent my time with you guys. And also, thanks for making me feel like I'm needed and belonged. I appreciate what you guys have done to me and I am so sorry if I ever hurt you guys in the past few years.

Anyway, there are tons of things that I want to tell you guys but it just can't be done in a day, or even a week. Therefore, there is a song that is dedicated to you guys and every single lyric means what I'm trying to express.

A part of me will always be with you guys. Thanks for everything.

Try sleeping with a broken heart.

2010-12-30T18:53:00.002+08:00

Too much drama happened lately and this is what I get after coming back from Penang. I tried not to think about it and tried to think about the sweet memories back in Penang but I just can't. I tried acting happy in front of my family members and friends. But when I'm alone, the moment is killing me. The flashback in Penang is just overlapped by the haunted feeling.

I tried to occupy myself with stuff and watch tons of funny videos, listen to tons of rock 'n' roll songs, just to kill the sadness hiding within myself. Yea, it did have some effect on it. After a while, it eventually came back. The feeling is haunting me.

I wanted to know the reason, about why am I such an awful person to you. I tried thinking about it over and over again. I even searched my MSN history but I got nothing there. I read your blog and the post you wrote was deleted. What does that mean? I have so many question marks in my head now. I am a pathetic person to you but I don't even know why I am to you. Do you know that feeling is killing me? About not knowing why people hate you while you think you did nothing to that particular person?

I know I must have done something which made you think I'm that kind of person. If you don't tell me, how am I gonna know and how am I gonna change? Therefore, I need to know. Please tell me, even if it may hurt me or something. I just need to know.

And to you. About what you've written in my post. I really appreciate it. You've finally made me come to a realisation on what kind of person I am to you. I know there are certainly things that I've done that might have hurt you and I am now, sincerely apologising to you. But even if I say my apology, I know you won't accept it. So yeah, thanks for letting me know how you feel. At the same time, I want to let you know that you are not always right. I'm not trying to fight or humiliate you. I just want to make you realise that being harsh to people might make them stay away from you. Just telling you, no offence.

So yeah, that's all from me. Sorry if I have done something offensive to you girls. Call me a bastard or whatever. I swear I won't fight back, not even a single word about it.

Sadness leads to hopeless.

2010-12-30T00:23:00.002+08:00

Wonder what feeling am I experiencing now. Cried like a baby just now. How long have I not been crying like this, eh? Such a release~

C'mon~~ It's after my Penang trip, why should I bother so much? I should be flashing back all the good memories now~ YEAHHHH~~~

OK, Imma stop this now. Bye bye.

Yay!

2010-12-26T14:26:00.001+08:00

It's TODAY! I am so so so so so excited! TONS OF FUN!!

Penang, here I come~~

Let's get it started, yeah ha!

2010-12-22T23:49:00.003+08:00

Dear Seniors of SMK Tropicana, our one and only big event of the year, which comes with the theme of Glamour, which is our,

TROPICANA'S PROM NIGHT 2010

has finally come. In fact, it's TOMORROW. So people,

ARE YOU READY TO GET THE NIGHT STARTED?!

Trash just simply refers me.

2010-12-22T01:04:00.003+08:00

I.. am such an awful person. I'm arrogant, I'm selfish, I'm brainless and I'm useless. Someone, please throw me into a garbage bin now. I am just merely a trash that nobody wants.

Don't dry with fakes or tears.

2010-12-18T01:36:00.002+08:00

It's 1.37 in the morning now. And yet, I'm still awake. How amazing is that. =.=

I guess this is life after SPM, eh? Sleep, eat, sleep and eat. But mine isn't that bad actually. There are still tons of things that I gotta do and I just did one of it today! It was planning my Penang trip with my fella comrades. I guess we had it all covered up, eh? Just waiting to meet up with Mable and confirm everything with her.

Then next, Prom Night. I am so so sorry to leave my beloved organiser, Kai Ting to go to Royale Bintang all by herself. She was like doing everything about Prom Night all by herself and I felt so sorry about it. Actually, I wanted to accompany her but I just promised my other friends to plan my Penang trip first, so it can't be helped. =X. I hope that she's not mad at me though. =P. Anyway, I'm sorry. Let me know whenever you need my help, k? Anytime and anywhere, I swear.

Next, moving house. Sis called me today during my Penang-trip-planning session. She asked me to help my father in settling the things up. And there was this one time I, well.. actually was unhappy about it because he asked me to follow him there but ended up asking me to rest over there because everything was almost done. When I came to think of it, I think he just simply needed some company. He has been doing everything all by himself and as a part of the family, all I've done is not even half of what he did and I'm surely feeling bad about it, again.

And furthermore, I know there has been a finance problem occurring in my family recently but he's just not showing it in front of us. All he did was just keeping quiet about it. I know he didn't want us to worry about it therefore he kept quiet but why can't he just understand that we're one family? Shouldn't a family share everything with each other? Even if it worries us, but at least, we won't be spending money like nobody's business and most importantly, there will be someone carrying your burdens along with you and that will be us. So why can't you just tell us? We're all grown up. We longer are the kids who always begs you to buy us ice-creams. So, let us carry some of your burdens, k? This is the reason why a family is needed.

Alright, it's 1.56am now. Gotta get into bed. My eyelids are super duper heavy now.

Memory lane.

2010-12-15T19:31:00.002+08:00

I have been sleeping for the whole freaking long day. Reason? I'm EXHAUSTED due to my lack of sleep last night. I stayed awake until 7am eh! GENG leh! xD

And yeah, FYI, SPM is OFFICIALLY OVER! Happy? Sad? Seriously, it's hard to tell. Happy, because all my hardword finally has been paid off and I'm really excited about what college life really is. Sad, because we're leaving high school. I mean, we have already left high school since the first day of taking SPM. TIME REALLY DOES FLY. It's already December and I'd go back to December all the time~ Aha. Taylor Swift again. xD By the way, this song is nice, you should go and listen to it, it's called "Back to December". =D

So hmm. Guess that I'll be looking for job. I NEED a job which the working hour is like the office's working hour. Anyone has any suggestion? =)

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

2010-12-11T21:19:00.007+08:00

Aha. SPM is already OVER! Well, for those who are taking Chinese, just ASSUME that it is. =D And sadly, tomorrow I'll be taking another exam, an unofficial one, Entrance Level Exam. =(

Anyway, I'm just so so excited to blog now. Firstly, it's because my damn internet finally functions properly! In the past few days, it kept on disconnecting which made me feel damn frustrated. My bro said it's due to the presence of my sis. Cause once she gets back from Malacca everytime, the internet will sure be disconnected. xD

Secondly, I have tons of things to share. According to what I've mentioned in the past few posts (if you ever read), I have tons of plans after 14th of December. Firstly, I've got to start planning for my Penang trip, which I'm really really looking forward to. Things to buy, places to visit etc etc. It just can't be done! Secondly, PROM NIGHT! Lots of things to plan such as.. ATTIRE! Seriously, I have NO IDEA what to wear. Black coat with tie? White long sleeve with black pants? AHH! Can't decide. And I've still got to plan the agenda and everything with my fellow organisers! SOOOOO many things await me!

Furthermore, I still got to shift my house. And I've painted and designed my new room (with Thomas's helping) and it looks something like this:

Yes, it looks like some trees with a freaking huge 8-sided-instead-of-6-sided snowflake. And what's even worse is, my bro said my room now looks like a holy place where the Christians pray, due to my painting. =.= Anyway, I've repainted the "trees and snowflake" and it looks like this now:

After repainting, I was kinda regret doing that. It looks better with white, right? BLAH, who cares. Christmas is coming now anyway, isn't it? ;)

Wish I'd never grown up.

2010-12-07T23:15:00.002+08:00

1 more subject to go. 3 freaking papers. BIOLOGY! Well, it's actually not only 1 subject, but 2. Still got Chinese. But I'm feeling like SPM is over right after Biology papers. LOL! I think it's because I'm good at Chinese and I need not worry about it. ELEH! LANCI! xD

Time really passes fast. SPM is ending really soon in just the blink of an eye. What have I done in this year? Did I waste all of my time throughout the whole year? Did I make a difference? Did I change myself? I don't know. It's hard to tell by myself.

Time flies. Things changed. People changed. Changed because of we're all grown up now. We finally see things differently. Our thoughts aren't as innocent as before now. We have our own dreams, our own targets to achieve. Sometimes I really wish I'd never grown up. Everything could still be simple cause we don't need to deal with so many things. Ahhhh. Isn't that wonderful? But it will never happen, will it? =(

Alright. It's 11.30pm now. Time to get into bed as I can see my pillow is waving at me now. Nights! =D